Nico's Man Diary
by CrazyNerdyFangirl
Summary: Nico is forced to write in a diary. What happens when you mix a son of Hades and a diary? Randomness and hilarity. Well, Nico would say it's a MAN diary; not a diary. Find out what Nico has been up to about a year or so after TLO. Possible Nico/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: My first PJO story, though not my first fanfic. Hope you like. This takes place about a year after TLO. Nico is fourteen. I probably shouldn't start a new fanfic, but I couldn't resist writing this. This is pretty short, but I promise it will get better later. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO. I wouldn't have let the movie stray so far from the plot if I did. **

Dear Man Diary,

I feel like such a _girl. _My "stepmother" made me write in this thing. Thank you, Persephone. She said I have anger issues. I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES. Just because I'm the son of the God of the Dead doesn't mean I have problems.

She threatened to take away my sword if I didn't "let out my anger". She wouldn't let me call this a journal. Her exact words were, "This is a diary. Not a journal. Deal with it." I'm not going to start calling this a diary because I'm not a freaking _girl. _So I'm calling this a _man _diary. Shit, the words "man" and "diary" don't go well together…

When she first told me I had to start writing a diary, I told her to go to hell. But then I realized she was already in hell. And so am I. And so is mostly everyone I know… FML!

Well, at least she let me pick out a manly diary. Knowing her, she would've picked a pink one with flowers on the cover. No. Just no. So I picked one that had a black leather cover. Yeah, it looks so manly. If a diary could ever look manly, that is. I've been careful to hide this diary from everyone. They can't see me writing in a _diary. _ Even though this is a _man_ diary.

I'm in the Underworld right now. It's so depressing here. And people think _I'm _goth or emo because I wear dark clothes. I'm not goth. I just like black and slightly scary music. And weirdly, I'm sometimes annoyed by happiness. Crap, I just sounded really emo.

I've been spending less and less time at camp. It's just so lonely there. I have no friends other than Tyson, Grover, Percy, and Annabeth.

Percy and Annabeth spend a lot of time with each other now. Hehe, he has an empty cabin all to himself in which he and his girlfriend can spend their time…together.

I once told them to get a room. And Annabeth beat me up. It took me three weeks to recover. Note to self: Never make Annabeth mad again.

Even Grover has gotten pretty serious with Juniper. I told _them_ to get a room once. Grover just gave me a look that made me _not_ want to think about what he and Juniper did together when they were alone.

So whenever I go to camp, the only person I can hang out with is Tyson. And he's not the most ideal person to hang out with. All he does is hug me and pat me on the head while saying "cousin" all happily. Have I mentioned that happy people sometimes scare me? Well, they do. Because camp is so boring now, I prefer to stay in the Underworld. And hang out with…dead people. Yeah, that's such a great improvement.

Actually there's this really nice old dead lady who tells the funniest stories. Apparently, she once had a grandson who went crazy. He was known to eat anything that came within his reach (including a squirrel or somebody's hand) and randomly burst into song in any situation. She once told me about when he started singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star during a wedding. _That_ must have been awkward.

You know you have no life when you talk to dead people. Either that or you're insane. I was probably both.

You know what the most annoying thing about the Underworld is? (Haha, I'm asking my man diary a question. Diaries can't answer. Hopefully. If you suddenly started talking to me, I would be scared. Wait, TALKING DIARIES? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?) There are so many random dead people who come up to me and start talking about their problems. They think I actually _care. _

There were so many dead souls who begged me to bring them back to life, for various reasons. Too bad I couldn't. Some wanted to be back with their friends and families. Some were finding death very boring (well, duh. You're dead. It's not like you can _do_ anything.) Some Twilight fangirls wanted to go back to the world of the living because they hadn't found their Edward yet. I will never understand why girls like him. He's sparkly! And gay! And whenever I see his face, I have an urge to call him Mr. Sparkles. Wow, I get off topic a _lot._

So these random dead people come up to me and they all say something like, "Help me. Bring me to life!" Great, now I'm imagining all of them singing that Evanescence song to me. That _would_ be funny. Maybe I should tell the next dead person who asked me to bring them to life to start singing that song.

Anyway, after they told me that, I would take out my Stygian iron sword and threaten to kill them if they didn't leave me alone. Then they would point out they were already dead. That had happened too many times for me to count. It seemed like I always forgot dead people were _dead_.

I better stop rambling and write about the _interesting_ thing that happened today. And by "interesting", I mean "completely embarrassing".

This morning, I decided I was tired of all the gloominess and annoying dead people of the Underworld. I decided to shadow travel to Camp Half-Blood to visit my friends and say hi to Mrs. O' Leary.

The journey was awesome, as usual. Well, it was awesome if you like the dark.

When I arrived at camp, I felt an urge to go to bed. What can I say? With great power comes great need to take a nap. I just totally sounded like Spider-Man. Sort of. I feel so awesome.

I was just about to take a short nap in the woods (in my tired state, the hard ground suddenly looked very, very soft) when I saw _her. _She woke me up immediately. She was about my age—14. She was relatively far away from me, but I could still make out her basic features. She had light brown hair that hung down her back and riveting gray eyes. Even from this distance, I could make out her full lips. She was as pale as a corpse, but she obviously wasn't _dead_. How could anyone this beautiful be dead? Her pale skin made her look even prettier somehow. She was wearing a black T-shirt, a pair of worn out jeans, and sneakers.

But what really caught my attention was that she was whooping everybody's asses in the sword fighting arena. She beat everyone who chose to challenge her, which was strange because I had never seen her around camp before. Her movements were swift and precise and she moved amazingly gracefully.

In that moment, I knew I had to find out who she was. Damn these stupid overactive teenage hormones.

I began to walk toward the arena, my sleepiness forgotten. Campers looked at me warily and most avoided me. The title "son of Hades" didn't exactly scream "friendly". And my all-black attire didn't help me make friends either.

Finally, I reached the girl. She was taking a break from fighting and was gulping down water from a water bottle. Damn, she was even hotter up close. I saw she was wearing a black Paramore t-shirt and had amazing long eyelashes. I noticed that there was a sheen of sweat on her forehead, but somehow, that just made her look hotter.

I stood next to her with my hands in the pocket of my hoodie, waiting for her to notice me. Finally, she turned her gray eyes toward me.

"Hey," she said. I stood there silently, dumbfounded by her melodious voice. I must have looked like a creeper. But then, I probably _was_ a creeper."Who are you?" she asked me warily. Hmmm, she didn't know that I was the son of Hades.

That was when I should have told her my name was Nico then ask for her name. Then we could've had a normal conversation. But no, Nico di Angelo (Why the Hades am I talking about myself in 3rd person?) just _has_ to blurt out the first stupid thing he thinks of.

"Are you dead?" I asked. Yeah, that wasn't random _at all._

The girl looked at me like I was on drugs. I didn't blame her. "No, why?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. She was probably thinking something along the lines of "Who the hell is this crazy emo guy who just asked me the most random, unnecessary question EVER?"

"I—uh…" I mumbled. With that witty reply, I ran away from her to shadow travel back to the Underworld. I'm so _manly_ and not cowardly at all.

So now, I'm sitting in the depressing darkness of this hellish (haha, hellish. Get it?) place writing in this stupid man diary. Go figure, Nico (I'm still talking about myself in 3rd person) isn't scared of dead people but is afraid of _girls. _

I'm gonna go cry in my emo corner now… FML!

Wait, man diary. You know the emo corner thing was a joke, right? I'M NOT EMO!

I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot more time at camp from now on…

**AN: So, like it? Hate it? Please review and tell me! Oh, the song mentioned in this chapter is Bring Me to Life by Evanescence, if you haven't figured that out. **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh!**

**Me: When will you speak English?**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: URGH! URGH! URGH! **

**Me: Yep! He means "Review! Review! Review!" Either that or he wants food…**

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This will have a plot eventually, but the next few chapters will really just be randomness that I'm using to set up the plot. I have to reread the Last Olympian. Joyousness. Thanks for all the reviews! I've never gotten this many reviews for a single chapter of any of my stories before. I know, that's pretty sad… Imagine this chapter is written in pink pen, okay? I wish I could change the color of the font, but I can't. This entry takes place the day after the last entry.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Rick Riordan. I don't own PJO. **

Dear Man Diary,

You may be wondering why this chapter is written in pink (a diary wondering something…that cracks me up). It's because I couldn't find any _black_ pens, okay? It's _not_ because I'm secretly a girl. You know what's sad? There weren't any _blue_ or _black_ or even _green _pens lying around the infirmary but there were _pink_ pens. Who leaves only pink pens lying around? I could have sworn I had some black pens in my pocket the last time I'd checked. So maybe they fell out? Or maybe someone stole them…whoever did that is going to _pay_. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If I wasn't writing in you, man diary, I would be rubbing my hands together evilly right now.

But I'm just going to end my rant about pens here. Let's see, today, I learned something very important.

Death by Justin Bieber fangirls would be a horrible way to die. Yes, I know that sounds random, but it's true!

Let's start at the beginning…

I couldn't stop thinking about the pretty girl I'd met yesterday. The pretty girl who I'd met yesterday (who will now be known as PGIMY) had been pretty damn hot. And she was a good fighter. In fact, I hated to admit it, but she was kind of hitting Mary-Sue levels…

Wait. Why the hell am I using FanFiction terms? Curse you, dead fanfiction addicts who keep talking to me in the Underworld! They keep going on about Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus and stories "poisoning their fandom". They're obsessed, even when they're dead.

I decided to go to camp the next morning. Because Mary-Sue or no Mary-Sue, PGIMY was still pretty hot. I figured I'd stay in my cabin for a couple of days and find out more information about PGIMY. Maybe I'd follow her around a little too. Gods, I just sounded like a creepy stalker.

I think I kind of ruined my chances with her when I asked her if she was dead. Actually, I was kind of surprised she didn't slap me when I asked her that. Not that I _wanted_ to be slapped. I don't enjoy pain. I'm _not_ emo. I'm not, man diary, I'm really not! Okay, you know your life is messed up when you're trying to convince your man diary that you're not emo.

So today, I shadow traveled to camp and put my stuff down in my cabin. My cabin was pretty cool. Everything was black, which you would think would look pretty depressing, but it didn't. I was a _son of Hades_. Of course I would think black was cool.

I went to look for some of my friends but I couldn't find any of them. So I was left alone at camp with nothing to do but sulk. I have _got_ to get a life.

I was sitting in front of my cabin, bored, when my eyes landed on the Aphrodite cabin. Let's do the math here. Aphrodite cabin = hot girls who might be gossiping about boys. Hot girls who are probably gossiping about boys = very happy Nico. Therefore, Aphrodite cabin = very happy Nico. I think I just used a mathematical property or something. Whatever, I was never any good in school anyway. And by "not very good", I mean I fail epically.

I suck at life.

I walked toward the Aphrodite cabin, trying to look inconspicuous. If somebody asked me why I was going to the Aphrodite cabin, I couldn't very well say, "I'm gonna spy on them because I'm a creeper."

Yeah, that wouldn't go over too well.

Fortunately, nobody stopped me as I was walking toward the cabin. I think they were too busy with their own lives to notice a goth-looking kid walking toward the Aphrodite cabin all creepily. Is creepily even a word?

There was a window in the side of the cabin, so I walked over to it. It was dark on this side of the cabin and I was wearing all-black, so I fitted right in. Hopefully, nobody would notice me. But with my luck, somebody _would_. Whatever, this would be fun while it lasted.

I looked into the window. The girls in there all seemed to be my age or younger. Maybe the older ones had better things to do. The main topic of conversation in the cabin seemed to be a certain teenage male (supposedly male) singer who is a disgrace to manly men everywhere. I want him to stay unnamed in this diary, but I will probably have to say his name anyway because I don't want you, diary, to get confused.

Justin Bieber.

I personally hate the kid. He's taken over the minds of perfectly sane tween girls (well, as sane as tween girls can be) and turned them into mindless, bad-music-worshipping fangirls. Anyway, all the girls were gushing over He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no, diary, not Lord Voldemort; I mean the he-she who has the initials JB).

As soon as I heard the first girl say, "Justin Bieber is soooooooooo hot", I began to wonder if spying on hot girls was worth listening to them gush over Justin Bieber. But what kept me there was the knowledge that they could start mentioning guys at camp any minute and I might find out what the girls thought of me. Did the dark clothes scare them off or make them think I was hot? I hoped it was the latter.

Just then, an Aphrodite girl came out of the bathroom…wearing nothing but a bikini. I think I was in Teenage Boy Heaven. I think I was drooling, which was extremely unattractive on me. I think I drooled even more when a second girl came out of the bathroom with just a towel on. I blame hormones.

I saw an Aphrodite girl (one of the fully dressed ones) get out a magazine with Justin Bieber on the cover. Some of her sisters crowded around her and began squealing. Damn it! They were squealing so loud that I could hear them perfectly through the wall. I heard snatches of what they were saying.

"Justin Bieber is so hot," one squealed.

"Ehmagawd, I love his songs."

"I want to go to his concert!"

"I want him in bed!" I widened my eyes when I heard that one. Crazy obsessed fangirl…

"He's even hotter than Edward!" a blonde Aphrodite girl gushed.

"No way! Edward is the hottest!" her brunette sister countered.

"Justin!"

"Edward!"

"Justin!"

"Edward!" The two girls looked ready to rip each other's throats out right then. Who knew that girls could get so worked up over a fictional character and a celebrity? Guys never acted like this. But then, none of the guys I knew were in love with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named or Edward Cullen either. I hope…

It looked like both girls were getting ready for a battle. Their hands were clenched into fists and they both had murderous looks in their eyes. Heh, I finally figured out a way to get Aphrodite girls to fight. Threaten their tween girl idols.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. "What the hell are you doing?" a female voice behind me demanded. That voice seemed familiar. I turned around and found myself looking into the beautiful gray eyes of PGIMY.

"What are you doing?" she demanded again.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "I'm _not_ spying on the Aphrodite girls." I was _such_ a good liar. I could tell she knew that was a blatant lie.

"Uh-huh. So what _are_ you doing?" she raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. Think fast, Nico.

"I was, um, looking for a missing contact lens." That was the first thing I could think of. As soon as the words left my mouth, I mentally slapped myself. Looking for a contact lens? Could I _be_ any more stupid?

Actually, man diary, I don't want to know the answer to that question.

"You were looking for a contact lens by looking at Aphrodite girls?" she asked disbelievingly. Huh, it sounded ridiculous coming from _her_ too.

"Yeah…" I muttered.

PGIMY looked into the window and saw the girls squealing over He-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named. She frowned and raised her eyebrows. "Are they really gushing over _Justin Bieber?_" The disgust was obvious in her voice. Wow, there was a teenage girl who _wasn't_ in love with him.

Suddenly, PGIMY smiled evilly. "Watch this," she said. With those words, she marched over to the front door of the cabin. What the hell was she going to do? She knocked on the door loudly. An Aphrodite girl opened the door, looking at PGIMY in surprise.

With a straight face, PGIMY said, "Justine Bieber is a fag and a rapist." I almost burst out laughing, but then I saw the Aphrodite girl's death glare. She motioned for her sisters to come over to the door.

"Nobody insults Justin Bieber and lives," she growled menacingly.

That was when PGIMY and I got beaten up by Justine (no, that wasn't a spelling mistake) Bieber fangirls. I hadn't even done anything (except spy on them), but they still attacked me because I was in the immediate area. Let's just say Aphrodite girls are stronger than I gave them credit for. Either PGIMY or I would have been able to pwn them in a one-on-one fight, but there were more than 10 of them and 2 of us. And they're surprisingly good fighters when they're defending Justin Bieber. I'm not going to give you the details of the fight; they were too embarrassing. In fact, I think I squealed like a girl a couple of times.

So now I'm in the camp infirmary, drinking some nectar to help me heal faster. I had a broken leg, bruised ribs, a sprained wrist, and bruises all over my body. Percy visited me a few minutes ago and was laughing at me for getting pwned by _Justin Bieber _fangirls. I thought friends were supposed to be nice to each other. Though I had to admit, if this had happened to _him, _I would be laughing my ass off.

Damn it, I just realized I don't even know PGIMY's real name.

Do I need to say it? F. M. L.

**AN: So, like it? Hate it? The part where Nico curses the dead fanfiction addicts was all UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND's idea, so thanks! Trust me, the girl who I still haven't named (any suggestions?) is **_**not**_** going to turn into a Mary Sue. Hopefully. She'll seem like a Mary Sue in the first few chapters though. **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: URGH! URGH! URGH! **

**Me: What? We're all out of cookies? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: (shakes head sadly) Urgh…**

**Me: Let's go to Wal-Mart to buy some more cookies!**

**Review? **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey, people. Expect a new chapter about once a week from now on. Well, I like this story, so I might update sooner than that. This is my most popular story! I get more reviews per chapter than my other stories. Yeah, that's kinda sad… Thanks to The Layman for thinking of the name for PGIMY. Virtual cookie for you! And don't listen to Bob the Vampire Zombie when he says my virtual cookies taste like crap. PGIMY is going to seem like a Mary Sue for the next few chapters because I have to make Nico think she's perfect. So, don't kill me if she starts to hit Mary-Sue levels, okay? This entry is one day after the last entry. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, though I totally wish I did. **

Dear Man Diary,

My. Leg. Hurt. Like. Hell.

On the bright side, Percy brought me a black pen so now I'm not writing in pink anymore. Right, that's a _great_ bright side. So now only _one_ of my journal entries look girly. Unless, you know, I run out of ink and am forced to write in pink again.

I'm in my cabin right now, so I'm sure nobody will see me will see me writing in here. I got let out of the infirmary because I kept bugging everyone in there. I was the annoying Son of Hades. My dear, loving father must be so proud of me.

Camp was quiet. It was after 11, and everyone was in bed. Well, the Hermes kids were probably running around camp trying to steal something or were setting up a prank. But that was them, and I was perfectly content to stay in bed and write in you, man diary.

Gods, something is wrong when a _dude_ says that he wants to stay in bed to write in his diary.

Crap, there's someone knocking on the door of my cabin. It's probably Percy or Annabeth wanting to laugh at me again. Or maybe it's Grover wanting to talk about how girls are so confusing. Or maybe it's Tyson wanting a hug. You know what? I think I'll just ignore whoever it is.

Damn, whoever it is _persistent_. The person just keeps _knocking_. This is pretty damn annoying. Maybe I should just open the door so the knocking would stop.

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll stop writing in you now, man diary, and see who's at the door.

* * *

Well, that was _strange_. It's later on in the same night as the first part of this entry. I'm in the cabin, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. But, I have to explain first, don't I?

I had opened the door to find PGIMY's gray eyes looking into mine. (Was she still PGIMY now? Or was she now PGIMDBY? Pretty girl I'd met the day before yesterday.) My mouth dropped open in shock. What the Hades was she doing here?

She was wearing a mahogany hoodie and old, faded jeans. I saw that her arm was in a sling and that she had a black eye that was beginning to fade. . I was slightly comforted knowing that _I_ wasn't the only one who had gotten beaten up by the crazy Justin Bieber fangirls.

Who knew that Justin Bieber fangirls could be so violent? I was going to stay _far_ away from those fangirls from now on.

PGIMY/PGIMDBY smiled a smile that made her gray eyes twinkle. "Can I come in?" she asked. I was pretty damn sure I was doing a very impressive imitation of a goldfish. "I—uh," I stammered. _Smooth_, Nico, _smooth_.

PGIMY/PGIMDBY raised her eyebrows. "I'll take that as a yes," she said, pushing me out of the doorway and walked into the cabin. She walked to the center of the cabin and turned around in a circle, surveying the room. "Nice room," she said, "lots of…black." I could tell she was just really just trying to make some conversation. She stood in the center of the room awkwardly, her hand on her hip. That was when I decided it was probably a good idea to say something.

"Hi, uh, we both got beaten up by Justin Bieber fangirls, huh?" I tried to chuckle casually, only managing to sound like a nervous teenage boy about to ask a girl out for the first time.

PGIMY/PGIMDBY rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. Those fangirls are going _down_." She punched her fist in the air as if to emphasize her point. "So, Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, why did you decide to spy on those Aphrodite girls?"

I widened my eyes. She hadn't known my name the first time we had talked—in the sword fighting arena. "How do you know my name?" I asked warily.

The girl looked at me like I had grown a third eye. "This is the Hades cabin, so I figure you must be Nico di Angelo, the only son of Hades in this generation. Everyone knows about you because you're the son of one of the Big Three," she said matter-of-factly. Well, when she put it that way, it was pretty dang obvious. Gods, I was _such_ a dunce.

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid. "So who are _you?_" I asked her.

The girl looked down at her scuffed sneakers for a minute then looked at me again. "I'm Rebecca. Becci for short," she mumbled, giving out no other information about herself.

I felt like it was up to me to continue the conversation or we'd just stand here in silence until morning. "Do all your friends call you Becci?" I asked, feeling extremely idiotic. I hate my life.

Becci's eyes narrowed. "I don't _have_ many friends," she practically growled. "In fact, I don't really have _any_ friends," she said bitterly. Okay…_awkward_. We looked at each other in awkward silence for a while, neither of us willing to speak.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. And Becci didn't seem like she was about to start talking anytime soon. "So, you hate Justin Bieber too?" I asked pathetically.

She gave me a look that made me feel very, very incompetent. "Everybody with half a brain hates Justin Bieber," she said. I was surprised. I thought _all_ girls liked Justin Bieber. As if she could read my mind, she glared at me and said, "Not all girls like Justin Bieber, dumbass."

"Oh," I said, wondering whether to be insulted that she had just called me a dumbass. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" I admit it. I was curious. I had never seen her around camp before.

Becci glared at me fiercely again. "Why don't you tell me about _your_ life?" she countered.

I was stumped for a moment. I didn't want to talk about my life. And she obviously didn't want to talk about _her_ life either.

When I didn't answer, she smirked. "Didn't think so," she said. I was curious about her past now. Maybe I could ask some other people to see if they knew anything about her.

She began moving toward the door, as if to leave. DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! She put a hand on the doorknob, about to turn it.

She turned around suddenly and looked at me. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you why I was here in the first place. I wanted to ask if I could fight you. A practice fight. I've always wondered if I could beat a child of the Big Three."

I paused, considering. Did I really want to fight a girl? But since a lot of the girls I knew could probably kick my ass or at least be a pretty good match for me (*cough* Thalia *cough* Annabeth *cough*) I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her or anything. In fact, I would probably have to worry about _myself_ getting hurt.

"Please? I promise it won't be a fight to the death." She looked at me with pleading eyes. Only at Camp Half-Blood do you do you get people _begging_ to fight with other people.

"Sure," I said. It couldn't hurt, right?

Becci nodded and opened the door. She walked out into the night, running her fingers through her brown hair.

Well, that was weird. Now I was going to have to fight a pretty girl. Joyousness.

But it wasn't as weird as what happened next.

I was just getting ready to go to bed after Becci left. It was about 5 minutes after her visit when somebody started knocking on the door. I wondered if it was Becci gain. If she came back to tell me that she wanted to make out with me, I wouldn't mind.

That was when I slapped myself.

I went to the door, crossing my fingers, hoping it was Becci. Instead, I found….Percy. FML! I wanted to find a hot girl and instead I find my friend. My _male_ friend. What the Hades?

Percy had his arms crossed over his chest and he looked kind of agitated. He pushed me out of the doorway and walked into my cabin What was it? Push-Nico-out-of-the-way-so-we-can-invade-his-cabin Day?

Percy looked at me like I had done something wrong. What did _I _ever do wrong? Wait, man diary, don't answer that.

"Was the new girl in here? The one who's Athena's daughter?" he asked. How the heck did he know that? Was he stalking her?

"Yeah…why?" I asked.

Percy sighed. "I don't know. Something about her seems…off." Percy was usually pretty easygoing so something must have been bugging him more than the fact that she seemed "off". "She just showed up at camp one day alone. No satyr to guide her here. No monsters on her tail. Everybody's been wondering how she found camp."

I shrugged. "Maybe a friend _told_ her?" I was having fun being able to act smarter than Percy.

Percy nodded. "I don't know. She acts weird too. She never talks to _anyone_. And she's a really good fighter. That's weird for someone who's most likely never had formal training before. And she never tells us _anything _about her past. Ever."

I was getting really frustrated now. "Maybe she's just a naturally good fighter! Maybe something bad happened in her life and she doesn't want to talk about it? Have you ever considered that? Why are all these little things getting you so concerned?" I paused for dramatic effect. "Percy, are you PMSing?"

If looks could kill, I'd be in the Underworld right now (And you wouldn't want that, man diary. I'm so awesome, right?) Percy glared at me and looked like he wanted to strangle me. He got up and stalked out the door, slamming it behind him.

So, Becci had shown up at camp alone, huh? It _was_ pretty unusual for her to be such a good fighter. And apparently, she didn't talk to people much. But then, neither did I. And she was the daughter of Athena? I should have guessed. After all, Athena _was_ the goddess of war and strategy.

I decided I had to summon Bianca to talk to her about this. I left my cabin, closing the door behind me quietly. The night was still and silent, except for the occasional noise an animal made. My footsteps were almost silent as I made my way toward the woods.

I was nearing the Athena cabin when I heard a voice. A female voice. I head the name "Nico" being said. Who was talking about me? Or was it some other Nico?

I made a split second decision. I hid behind some bushes so I could see who it was, but not be seen. I looked to see that it was Becci. She was talking into a cell phone.

Wait. She had a cell phone? Monsters could track half-bloods down if they had their cell phones. But I guess since monsters couldn't come into camp, it was all good.

I couldn't really hear what she was saying. But I could make out _some_ of the words. I heard my name again and heard the words "new recruit" and "sword". Whose sword? New recruit for what?

I saw Becci sigh and her shoulders slumped. It looked like she was about to end the call. I heard her next words as clear as day because she spoke them more loudly than her other words. "Love you. Bye." She shut the phone to end the call and walked into the Athena cabin.

So now I'm back in my own cabin, writing in this diary. I had run back to my cabin after overhearing Becci's phone conversation, all plans of talking to Bianca ignored—for now. Who the Hades had Becci been talking to? Did she already have a boyfriend? With my luck, she probably did. It wasn't like the gods wanted things to go _my_ way.

Huh. This is becoming a habit for me. FML!

**AN: So, like? Hate? I'm sorry if there was less humor in this chapter. Something good came out of it though. I finally thought of a plot for this story! **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh! Urgh! Urgh!**

**Me: It's not **_**my**_** fault I'm humming a Justin Bieber song! The crazy fangirls got it stuck in my head! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: *shakes head sadly* Urgh…**

**Me: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER!**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh…**

**Me: They keep singing that song…now I can't get it out of my head…I hate my life. It's actually true. I really do have Baby stuck in my head. I've been listening to a bunch of Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin, hoping that it will get out of my head. But no… I BLAME THE CRAZY FANGIRLS! **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh!**

**Me: Shut up.**

**Review? **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm going to apologize in advance for the suckishness and shortness of this chapter. It's more of a filler chapter and I was in a rush. I was going to put the fight in this chapter, but I realized that I suck at writing action scenes so I'm procrastinating about it and hoping that by some random stroke of luck, I'll be able to write a good action scene next week. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO. **

Dear Man Diary,

Have you ever gotten the feeling that there's a secret somebody's trying to keep from you and no matter what you do, you can't figure out what it is?

No, of course not, man diary. Of course you haven't. I mean, I tell you all my secrets. Like the fact that I used to sleep with a night light as a little kid because I was afraid of the dark. Haha, that's ironic. Get it? My father is the god of the Underworld, which is dark… Huh, now that I think about it, maybe telling you all of my secrets isn't such a good idea. _Anyone_ could find this. I just shuddered, man diary. Be happy that the thought of anyone finding you made me shudder. _Nobody_ is getting their hands on you except for me.

Oh…that was _such_ a "that's what she said moment". Diary, if you don't know what that meant, good for you.

I just realized that I always start out these entries with "dear man diary". I should stop doing that because 1) it makes me sound like a girl and 2) I don't actually _call_ you my "dear man diary". But then, I never talk to anyone about you at all, so I never call you my "stupid, fucking man diary" either. Though if I did talk about you in public, I would probably just refer to you as "man diary" instead of "dear man diary" or "stupid, fucking man diary". You know, maybe I should name you. I'm thinking…Mike. Mike is a good name for a diary. Wait, are you a girl or a boy, diary? Because if you were a girl, naming you "Mike" would be stupid. How could I find out if you were a girl or a boy?

You know what? I don't want to know.

So, diary, I'll just stop rambling now and start telling you what happened today. You know, I'm still uncomfortable with the fact that anyone can find this. But since my _dear_ stepmother (note the sarcasm) will yell at me if I stop writing in here, I'll keep writing in you, man diary. I hope you appreciate this.

This morning, I decided to go to the sword fighting arena. When I got there, I saw that Percy and Annabeth were fighting each other. You'd think that because they were a couple now, they'd go easy on each other, but it was clear from the looks on both of their faces that their only intent was to whoop each other's asses. Shame on them.

Both of them were sweating—not a good look for Annabeth (don't tell her I said that)—and they moved swiftly, trying to anticipate each other's next moves. I couldn't tell who was going to win. Neither of them seemed like they were going to give up yet.

I saw that Becci was sitting on the grass, looking at Percy and Annabeth fight. She looked like she was concentrating hard, like she was trying to analyze their fighting moves. She was tapping her foot against the grass as if to release bottled-up energy, like she was itching to fight someone. But her arm was still injured from out "encounter" with the crazy fangirls.

I sat down next to her. When she looked at me, I smiled at her, probably destroying my "I am a scary son of Hades" image. She turned her eyes back to the fight.

I had to admit, what Percy told me about her appearance at camp had made me curious. I decided to try to get the information out of Becci.

"How did you find camp?" I asked her, even though I knew that from her response the last time I had asked her about herself, she probably wouldn't answer.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, Goth Boy." She was smiling, but her tone suggested that it was the end of the conversation.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to get any more information out of her—she seemed to have even more trust issues than I do—so I just sat next to her in awkward silence, watching Percy and Annabeth fight.

Surprisingly, she began speaking. "Are you ready for _our_ fight, Goth Boy?" she asked me cockily. Great, I had a new nickname.

I matched her cocky and confident tone. "Hell yeah."

Becci got up and brushed some bits of grass form her jeans. "Good. I've been itching for a good fight." She walked away and I felt a twinge of disappointment. Stupid Nico. Bad Nico. One of these days, I would love to be able to walk away from _her_ instead of the other way around.

I sighed and walked back to my depressing black cabin, not even staying to see of Annabeth or Percy would win the fight.

That night, I knew I had to sneak out to see Bianca. I grabbed my sword, a flashlight, and a pack of Diet Coke as an offering. I walked toward the woods. I poured the Diet Coke on the ground and held my sword out. I muttered a few words under my breath and willed Bianca to appear.

After a few minutes, a figure began to take shape. It was my dead sister, Bianca. She looked pale and insubstantial, but her smile made me feel loved. Like she was still with me even though she was dead. I wanted to reach out and hug her, to have her tell me everything would be alright. But that would never happen again. I really needed to stop this sentimental crap.

"Bianca," I whispered. I hadn't seen her in so long.

Bianca suddenly looked worried. "I can't stay for long," she said regretfully.

I was sure the hurt showed clearly on my face. "Why?" I asked in a small voice. Bianca shook her head, looking scared. "That's not important right now, Nico. Please listen to me." She looked at me pleadingly and I nodded. "Beware of Becci. She's hiding something."

Then she disappeared into thin air before I could even ask her what Becci was hiding or why she was hiding it. So far, two people had told me that Becci was not to be trusted. Well, Percy had implied it. Next thing you know, Harry Potter would come to tell me the same thing.

Oh, FML!

**AN: Sorry that sucked. But R & R anyway. I know Becci is a Mary Sue. But I'm pretty sure I'll show a flaw of hers in the next chapter. And I have to make her seem perfect to Nico now so I can crush his hopes and dreams later! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh…**

**Me: I'M NOT CRAZY!**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh?**

**Me: Okay, maybe a **_**little**_** crazy…**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh?**

**Me: Okay, I'm crazy! Happy now?**

**Review? **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey, it's been a while. I've been very busy and lazy lately. And I've been procrastinating about this chapter. But I actually like this chapter…crap, I just jinxed it, didn't I? With my luck, all of you will hate it. Haha, people say I'm a total pessimist sometimes, but I prefer to call myself "not optimistic". Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/subscribed. I really appreciate it. I didn't think this story would get this many reviews. **** Yeah, I know Becci is a Mary Sue, but I hope you realize that I can't come straight out and tell you what her flaws are. They'll be revealed as the story progresses. And this story is told from Nico's point of view. One of Becci's personality traits is that she's a good actress (as you'll find out later), so she acts all perfect around him. Trust me, I actually sat down and wrote out all the flaws she has. And to make this clear, FML stands for "F*** my life". **

Dear Marvelously Messy Mike the Man Diary,

Haha, I used alliteration! Don't ask me what compelled me to actually use humor. You'd think that I wouldn't be in a joking mood after what had happened today. But I guess joking around takes my mind off it.

You know, Mike, sometimes, I really hate the gods. What have they got against me? Why must they make my life so crappy? It's crappier than broccoli. I don't like broccoli. I hate most things that are supposed to be healthy for me, but especially broccoli. It's so…green.

I guess I'm just putting off telling you what happened today because then I'd have to admit how extremely stupid I was. Then you'd make fun of me. I mean, if a diary _could_ make fun of people. I really hope not. If so, then there are so many things in this diary that you could use against me. I'd be a dead demigod.

* * *

It's been a little more than a week since the…incident. That's what I'm calling it now because I really don't want to remember that I was beaten up by Justine Bieber fangirls.

Becci had come to me yesterday to tell me that she was ready for our fight. She had practically been jumping up and down in joy. _Some_body was desperate to hurt me. I wondered if I should be worried. She looked like she could whoop my ass. It would be sad if I lost to her. Then I would have lost to a girl. Though it wouldn't be as bad as losing to Justin Bieber fangirls.

This morning, I had dragged myself out of bed and into the sword fighting arena. My injuries had healed due to the ambrosia and nectar I had consumed. The Aphrodite girls had only gotten three days of extra chores. They had claimed that Becci and I had "provoked" them and they had beaten us up out of self-defense.

Yeah, self-defense, my ass.

I wonder…if I got two male betta fish and put them in the same fishbowl, would they really fight each other to the death? I'd been told that they were really territorial and that putting them in the same fishbowl would be a huge mistake, but maybe it would be amusing to see two fish try to hurt each other. Maybe I should name one Justine Bieber and the other one Edward Cullen to see who would win.

I am such a strange child sometimes.

I entertained myself with thoughts of Edward and Justine engaged in a violent battle all the way to the sword fighting arena. I was lost in my thoughts…

Which was probably why I almost ran into Becci. I stopped walking just in time to stop myself from knocking her to the ground. I was an inch away from Becci. Her back was turned to me, which was probably why she hadn't already moved out of the way. She was already decked out in Greek armor and had a black shield strapped to her arm. Her sword was still sheathed and she had her hair tied back in a ponytail.

She must've felt my breath on the back of her neck or something because she spun around, assuming a fighting stance and pulling her sword out of its sheath. Paranoia, _much_? I stepped back a little because I didn't want to be a demigod-kabob.

When Becci saw that it was only me, she let out a breath that she probably hadn't realized she'd been holding and put her sword back in its sheath. All demigods had to stay alert or get killed, so I didn't really blame her for being so paranoid. She ran a hand through her brown hair, making a few strands come lose.

"Why the hell are you sneaking up on me?" she demanded.

"I almost ran into you," I said, but my voice rose up in the end, making it sound like a question.

Becci smiled. She leaned close to my ear. "Well, next time, watch where you're going, Goth boy," she whispered, her lips nearly brushing my ear. Her breath tickled my ear pleasantly, and she kept her lips close to my ear for one second more than was necessary. I couldn't say I didn't enjoy that.

Then suddenly, she pulled away, shoving my shoulder playfully, and walked past me. "Get ready," she said, not looking back at me.

I stood there, stunned. I scratched my head thoughtfully. Had she been…_flirting_ with me? As you can probably tell, I don't have much experience with girls. The whole "son of Hades" thing tends to scare most girls away. Gee, I wonder why. But hadn't I heard Becci talking on the phone with someone she said she loved? Whatever, it was probably her dad or something. It always turned out like that in books or movies.

I put on my armor. I made my way over to Becci, who was already in the middle of the field. When she saw me, she walked over to me. She didn't seem like she wanted to get really close to me again anytime soon. Damn.

"We need to go over some guidelines," she said. I nodded in agreement.

"You can use your sword to raise the dead, right?" she asked.

I nodded. "I need my sword to raise skeletons and stuff but I can raise ghosts without it."

"Okay, you can't raise the dead to help you. This is going to stay a one-on-one fight," she said. I nodded again.

"No unnecessary maiming. The object is to get the other person in a position where they can't fight back," Becci laid out the rules.

I resisted the urge to make a perverted comment, and just nodded again. "Okay."

Becci backed away a few feet and held her sword out in front of her in a fighting stance. It looked sharp and I did _not_ want to get stabbed by that. Becci's eyes hardened and she looked determined. Her face became devoid of emotion. She didn't want to show weakness.

I could feel my face assuming the same expression. Would it be hard to fight a girl who had quite possibly flirted with me a few minutes ago? Yeah. Did I want to kick her ass anyway? Obviously. Why else would I have agreed to this?

I took my Stygian iron sword out of its sheath. I saw Becci eye it carefully, sizing it up.

"Ready?" I asked her. She nodded, and with that single movement of her head, the fight started.

We circled each other for a few minutes, neither of us wanting to make the first move. Becci's eyes gave no insight to what she was thinking, and I made sure my eyes didn't give anything away either. In a fight, it was important not to let your opponent know what you were planning. That would mean an inevitable loss.

Just when I was starting to think of a plan for surprising her, she lunged at me, catching me off guard. She was aiming for a chink on my armor near my neck and would have gotten me if I hadn't reacted quickly enough. I blocked her shot with my sword—barely.

Becci wasted no time. She swung her leg out and got in a roundhouse kick to my stomach. But she seemed to have forgotten I was wearing my armor and the impact with it had almost no effect on me other than making me stumble back a little.

Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I stabbed my sword at her arm, making a shallow but long cut. She didn't show any sign that she noticed the pain. She swung her sword at my legs, making deep cuts that made me double over in pain. She took advantage of my wounded legs and kicked them out from under me, making me fall on my butt.

She smiled, approaching me, going for the kill (not literally, man diary—well, I hoped not), but I sprang up quickly, and defended myself with my sword. Becci's eyes narrowed. If she had been looking for an easy fight, she definitely wasn't getting one here. She backed away, waiting for another opportunity to attack me. We were both breathing hard. I stayed on the balls of my feet so I could attack back and so I wouldn't be caught off guard. Then, Becci lunged at me and the fight started again.

The next few minutes were a blur. I just let the ADHD part of me, which was only helpful in a fight, take over. I didn't _think_ about what I was doing; I let my instincts take me over. I remember stabbing my sword at Becci and dodging her attacks. We moved swiftly. Becci was faster than I was, but I was stronger. We were pretty well matched. It was a close fight. I think to any outsider, the fight must have looked like a fight to the death. We each got a few injuries—Becci cut my arm and I made a shallow cut on her forehead—but we had known that injuries would be unavoidable, so we didn't worry about them, opting to worry about them when the other had suffered an epic defeat. But the thing that scared me the most were Becci's eyes.

They were full of bloodlust, like she _really _wanted to kill me.

But I put it off as a trick of the light or something my imagination conjured up. Because Becci wasn't an enemy, right? She couldn't _want_ to kill me.

Suddenly, I felt something against my back. I reached out with my fingers, feeling rough bark. I didn't dare turn around, but I knew Becci had backed me up against one of the trees surrounding the field without me noticing. She had probably pushed me towards the edge of the field step by step, and I hadn't noticed because I had been too caught up in trying to beat her. _Di immortales._

I saw that Becci had a triumphant grin on her face. She knew she had won. She was holding her sword near my face. I couldn't move because I didn't want to get impaled by it. I couldn't fight back. Shit. But that was when I realized that she had assumed she had won too soon. Her pride had made her overlook something.

She hadn't disarmed me yet. I still had a weapon.

"Ready to admit defeat?" she taunted, half-serious, half-playful. Her eyes were twinkling with the knowledge that she had beaten me. Or at least, she _thought_ she had.

While she was still gloating, I swung my sword up against her sword, knocking it out of her hand. It landed on the ground near her feet. But she wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get it back. I saw her mouth drop open in shock. I guess her pride was what had allowed me to beat her. But she still hadn't officially surrendered yet.

I knocked her over. She landed on her elbows, skinning them. I held my sword to her throat. "Give up?" I asked.

Becci grunted, which I took as a sign that she wanted to surrender. There was no way for her to win and she knew it. I put my sword in its sheath and offered my hand to her, wanting to help pull her up. Instead, she glared at me, pushing my hand out of the way. Her face was bright red, like she was embarrassed. She looked like it was taking a lot of her control not to start yelling at me. She looked like she wanted to strangle me.

"I am _not_ some damsel in distress," she growled. Well, obviously. If she was, she wouldn't have almost beaten me. She stood up and brushed herself off, trying to maintain whatever pride she had left. I stored away the fact that her pride could be used against her for future use. She turned on her heel and stalked away. She wasn't used to losing, I guess. She was obviously mad. Well, I guess now she wouldn't sort of flirt with me anymore.

I looked around for the first time since the fight had started. What I saw surprised me. There were campers gathered around the arena. They had been there to see Becci and me fight. How absolutely _wonderful_.

"All right, show's over," I called out to them. They walked away, some still whispering about the fight.

Percy and Grover walked up to me. I didn't see Annabeth with them, so I assumed she was looking at architectural notes or something. Grover was excited. "That fight was better than enchiladas!" Coming from Grover, that was high praise. He didn't think many things were better than enchiladas. He really only thought Juniper and Louis the Sixteenth furniture were better than enchiladas.

"You need to go to the infirmary, Nico," Percy said, looking at my leg. I was just about to say that I was fine when I actually looked at my leg. It was bleeding heavily—the cut on my leg was deeper than I remembered. I had pushed the pain to the back of my mind when I had been fighting but now it hit me with its full force. All I have to say is…ow.

Mike the Man Diary, I won't bore you with all the details of getting treated in the infirmary, so let's just fast forward (can my life actually fast forward? Because that would be so beast) past that part. So I was in my room. It was about 10 at night. I sword was lying on the dresser next to my bed. I was staring at the ceiling. I really needed a life. Haha, that's funny. The son of the lord of the dead wanting a life.

Anyway, I decided I needed some fresh air, so I walked outside, almost running into Becci for the second time today. She was standing outside my door, looking nervous. She was looking anywhere but at me. I looked at her questioningly.

"Sorry about earlier today. I was really mad," she said quietly, looking at her feet.

"Don't worry. I would be mad if I had lost too." I said, wanting to reassure her that all was good. I didn't blame her for being mad.

She looked at me skeptically. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Becci looked uncertain for a moment. Then she began to lean towards me, ssomething lighting in her eyes. I couldn't move away. Her eyes mesmerized me, and I'm pretty sure I was drooling a little. My heart starting beating faster. Her mouth was only an inch from mine now. Her warm breath caressed my lips. Was she about to kiss me? It sure seemed like it. Here's something you need to know, man diary. I have never been kissed before. So I didn't exactly know what to do.

Suddenly, she pulled away, just like earlier today. Did my breath stink? She was smirking, but not meanly, more playfully. "It's late. I better go," she said, turning away. What the enchiladas was that? Dammit, Grover's love of enchiladas was running off on me. One minute Becci had seemed like she wanted to kiss me, the next, she was pulling away. Girls are so confusing.

Becci was still walking away from me. Suddenly, she turned around, looking at me. "And a word of advice, Nico. Don't drool. It's not a good look for you," she said, still smirking. Then she walked away.

I walked back inside my cabin in a daze. Did she really like me? Or was she just playing with my emotions?  
It took me a minute to realize that something was missing. There was nothing on my dresser. Nothing.

My sword was gone.

I searched my whole cabin for it in vain. I couldn't find it anywhere. As much as I would like to think that I had just misplaced it, deep down, I knew that someone had taken it. It was a gut feeling. And it wouldn't be easy to get it back. My sword didn't magically reappear in my pocket like Percy's did. But who had taken it? And why? It might be because someone wanted me without a weapon. But I could just use the swords that the camp owned. They wouldn't work as well as my Stygian iron sword—I wouldn't be used to them—but I wouldn't be weaponless. If someone had taken the sword to use for themselves, why had they chosen _my_ sword? It wouldn't be any different than any other sword. Well, for a regular demigod, anyway. I could use it to raise the dead. But I was the only son of Hades alive.

So now I'm sitting on my bed, desperate wishing I had an fmylife(.)com **(AN: take out the parentheses) **account. Today, I almost lost to a girl in a fight. Then she almost kissed me and pulled away. After _that_, I realized my sword went bye-bye. FML

**AN: fmylife(.)com is an actual website. Going on there always cheers me up because I realize that there are people with way suckier lives than me. The betta fish thing is something I adapted from something on averagewizard . com that UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND was telling me about. Put "Cedric Diggory" and "Edward Cullen" in the same fishbowl and see who will win. **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh!**

**Me: Yeah, I know it's not good to laugh at other people's problems but these are hilarious!**

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: *shakes head sadly* Urgh…**

**Me: But these are so funny *cracks up***

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey, people. Look, I know people have been telling me that Becci is a Mary Sue. I know that. I have my reasons. I know you think I'm making excuses, but I do have my reasons. So flame this story all you want. This chapter is not my favorite, but whatever. The poems in here were written by my friend Emily and UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND. You rock! UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND, Emily, and I were bored on our school field trip so we decided to write crappy emo poems. **

Dear Mike the Man Diary,

_Love is like a butterfly_

_A butterfly with fangs and claws_

_A butterfly that will rip your arms off_

_And then a bear eats the butterfly_

_And yeah…_

_That's what love is like_

And I have another poem too.

_Today, I saw a bear_

_And that reminds me of fish_

_And the fish reminds me of a river_

_Which reminded me of my father_

_Then, I wanted to kill myself_

_The end_

Wow. I just looked over them again and have realized something. I wrote about bears in both of my poems. Either I really like bears or I really hate them. I don't know. I didn't really see a bear today. I just thought the poem would sound better if I wrote that.

Those two poems were my crappy attempts at writing emo poetry. I was _bored_. I wasn't really _depressed_. Just _bored_. I don't think the poems were _too_ bad. I could write worse.

_Life_

_It sucks_

_Crap_

Now _that's_ crappy. But it's also kind of true. Life sucks. I already knew that, but today, it really hit me how my life is total crap. Sometimes, all I wanted to do was sit in my cabin and write emo poetry all day. Not that I'm emo. I'm not. It's just really fun to write depressing poems sometimes. Even crappy ones. Especially crappy ones. They make me laugh when I reread them. HA! I laugh. I'm not emo!

I'm just going to start talking about what happened today so that I don't make an even bigger fool out of myself.

* * *

To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

Huh, maybe I shouldn't have written that. It reminds me of suicide. Because the original words spoken in Hamlet—"To be or not to be, that is the question"—was said when he was contemplating suicide. How did I know that? TV.

What the Tarturus was I supposed to do?

I had spent most of the night searching for my sword until I had collapsed on my bed. A very dominant part of my mind was thinking that maybe I had been set up by Becci. She _had_ been the reason I was out of my cabin. But it made no sense. She already had her own sword. And my sword was only useful to someone other than myself if they could raise the dead. And no one but a child of Hades could do that.

So when I had woken up today, my main dilemma was whether to tell someone about my missing sword or not. If I told someone, I would probably be embarrassed beyond belief. I could almost hear Percy laughing and saying, "Haha! You were stupid enough to lose your sword!" But if I didn't tell someone, who knew _when_ I would be able to get my sword back.

So I decided to hurry the heck out of my cabin to tell Percy, Annabeth, and Grover, hoping they wouldn't make fun of me _too_ much. And now I couldn't even threaten them with me raising dead skeletons to attack them if they made fun of me. I felt empty, vulnerable without my sword. I had never experienced this before, except when I had first found out I was a half-blood—I hadn't had a sword then. I had never let my sword leave my side. Guess I'd gotten reckless. Stupid me.

I got my ass out of my cabin and made my way to the Poseidon cabin. I had two thoughts floating around in my mind as I was making my way to Percy's cabin "Maybe Percy will know what to do!" (this was a pathetic hope, but I didn't want to give up all hope) and "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse." My stomach growled, emphasizing my second statement. Well, maybe I wasn't hungry enough to eat a _horse_. Centaurs were half horse, after all, and I didn't want to eat Chiron.

That was _such_ a "that's what she said" moment.

I was walking past the basketball courts. I saw two people arguing on the court. One was a girl who was holding a basketball under her arm. She had her fists clenched and was yelling at the other person. The girl had her back to me so I couldn't tell who it was. The other person was a scrawny boy who I recognized as a child of Ares. He was short and thin while the other Ares kids were tall and buff. He had oily brown hair and pasty skin with acne. He was wearing clothes that were too big for him. Nobody liked him because he was always getting into other people's business. I knew he was my age, but he looked younger because of his height. I couldn't remember is name. Something starting with a K.

He was yelling at the girl and his face was red with anger. He was gesturing wildly with his hands, pointing at the basketball, then to himself. A caveman could have figured out what he wanted. The girl was stubborn though. She refused to give him the basketball. Instead, she held the ball high above his head, taunting him.

I walked toward them. I began to hear what they were saying to each other.

"I got here first! The basketball's mine!" K-something yelled, making a move to grab the basketball out of the girl's hand, but she just held it out of his reach. Neither noticed me because they were so engrossed in their argument.

"Come get the fucking ball if you're so desperate, Shorty!" the girl taunted. "Besides, you were about to leave! It's mine," she yelled angrily.

"I was just about to go get a drink of water," K-something retorted.

The girl jabbed her finger at the boy's chest. "Look, don't make me beat you up." She poked the boy's chest for every word she said.

"I'm not scared of you," K-something said defiantly. He should've been scared though. He was weak. Anyone could beat him up. Silly little boy.

"Kindly go fuck yourself in Tarturus. If—"

I interrupted the girl by clearing my throat. Both the girl and K-something fixed their eyes on me. With a shock, I realized the the girl was Becci. Who would have thought that she would make such a big deal over a basketball?

As soon as Becci saw me, she plastered a bright smile on her face and said in a cheery voice, "Hi Nico!"

Was she bipolar?

Becci looked tired. Her face was pale and she had shadows under her eyes, which seemed like they had hastily been covered with makeup, but still showed through. Funny, I had never thought Becci was the kind of person who wore makeup.

I didn't have much time to muse over Becci's bipolarity (is that a word?) or appearance because K-something started glaring at me. What did _I_ do? All I did was clear my throat. Is that a crime?

"You're that creepy son of Hades," K-something said.

"And you're that weird son of Ares who annoys the crap out of everyone," I retorted. He just glared. No clever comeback, huh?

"So why are you two fighting over a basketball?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"It's mine!" they both claimed at the same time. I sighed. Was _I_ supposed to be the peacekeeper? Me…peacekeeper. That's a funny thought.

"I got the basketball first!" K-something insisted. He was so mad that when he said those words, spit flew out of his mouth.

"Say it don't spray it," Becci said disgustedly. K-something just stuck his tongue out at her.

"Kyle here," Becci gestured to K-something (so _that_ was his name), "left the basketball unattended, which means he forfeits the rights to use it," Becci said confidently, smiling at me and glaring at Kyle at the same time. How the heck was that even possible?

"I was just going to get a drink of water. I was going to come back," Kyle protested.

"Why are you two fighting over a _basketball_?' I asked exasperatedly. Becci just looked at me. She didn't look guilty or anything—there were no obvious signs that she had stolen my sword or had purposely led me out of my cabin so that someone else could steal it. Maybe it was just a coincidence after all.

Kyle sighed dramatically. "It's not really a matter of getting the basketball. It's a matter of _fairness_ and pride," Kyle said like this was obvious. He sounded like a politician or something.

"Yeah, shut up, kid," Becci said venomously. She was nice to me yet bitchy to Kyle. I knew that girls were confusing, but I had never experienced that firsthand.

"Don't call me _kid_. We're the same age!" Kyle looked insulted.

"Whatever, kid," Becci replied, smirking.

"Give it!" Kyle said, trying to get the basketball again.

"No damn way," Becci yelled angrily.

"You're…you're…you're short-ist!"Kyle pointed an accusatory finger at Becci.

"What the hell?" she yelled back, throwing her hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"You discriminate against short people!" Kyle said accusingly. Wow. Short-ist. Creative.

"I do _not_ discriminate against short people. I just hate _you_," Becci said indignantly.

I knew that this could take a while. Becci and Kyle began yelling and cussing at each other. They didn't notice me slipping away. When I got far enough away from them, I sighed in relief. Note to self: Stay away from Becci and Kyle when they're fighting.

I walked toward the Poseidon cabin. I stood outside the door and knocked. Nobody answered. I knocked again. Still no answer. I knocked again, this time louder. No effing answer.

"Percy?" I called out. Silence answered. I decided to just go in. He had already invaded _my_ cabin once. I opened the door and walked in. Nobody was in there.

There were a couple of places he could be, but there was one where he was very likely to be. He was always there on Saturday mornings because both he and Annabeth had nothing to do then. The Athena cabin.

I groaned as I walked toward the Athena cabin. If Annabeth and Percy were in there alone… I shuddered. There was a rule against two people being _alone_ alone in a cabin of course, but they didn't care.

I knocked on the door of the Athena cabin. If Percy and Annabeth were in there alone, I didn't want to walk in on them making out or…worse.

After a minute, Annabeth opened the door. She looked surprised to see me. "Hi, Nico," she said.

"Is Percy in there?" I asked, trying to looking past her because her body was blocking my view of anything past the doorway.

"Yeah, why?" Annabeth asked.

"I need to talk to him," I said, looking at Annabeth pleadingly. I even began to pull the Bambi eyes. Because Bambi eyes are so _manly_.

"Are you trying to give me the Bambi eyes?" Annabeth asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Just let me see Percy," I sighed.

Annabeth stepped out of the doorway and I walked inside.

Percy was on one of the bunk beds and had an open laptop next to him. Annabeth walked in and sat next to him, taking the laptop, placing it in her lap. She stared at something on the screen intently.

"What were you two doing in here?' I raised my eyebrows suggestively. Annabeth blushed a little bit and Percy glared at me.

"We were just looking at Daedalus' notes," Percy said indignantly.

"_Right_," I said sarcastically.

"It's true!" Annabeth protested.

"So you're telling me that two hormonal teenagers who are dating can stay in the same room without starting to make out with each other or more?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes!" Annabeth hissed.

I shook my head in mock pity. "If you two really were just looking at Daedalus's notes, you're weirder than I thought."

Percy rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, Nico. What do you want?'

So I told Annabeth and Percy about how I had gone outside my cabin to talk to Becci and when I had come back, my sword was missing. It told them about how I had searched for it but couldn't find it.

Percy looked thoughtful, a strange look for him. "Maybe it was Becci."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought of that, but we can't accuse her with so little evidence." Look at me. I'm being _reasonable_.

"Can't you summon it?" Annabeth asked.

"I've already tried. I'm not _that_ stupid, you know. My sword doesn't come back to me like Percy's does," I said hopelessly.

"Well, your life sucks," Percy said jokingly.

Wow, even other people think my life sucks. FML

**AN: The next chapter is already in the works, and I'm going to try to post it on Sunday. No promises though. Do you think this story is moving too fast? Because I think it might be. **

**Bob the Vampire Zombie: Urgh…**

**Me: Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Really sorry for the long wait. I was just having trouble with this chapter. Thanks for all your reviews. I love you people almost as much as I love cookies. And heck, that's saying something. :P Please don't kill me for not updating. Anyway, here's the next installment of Nico's Man Diary!**

Dear Mike the Man Diary,

I think I'm in love.

No, not with someone. Do you want to know what I'm in love with, man diary?

Cookies.

That's right. I…borrowed some cookies from the Stoll brothers (who probably stole them from someone else anyway) and they're fucking delicious. At first, I thought there must've been ambrosia or nectar in them. But I've eaten so many and haven't burned up yet, so I guess not. Burning up would be bad. Very, very bad. (I just thought of that stupid Jonas Brothers song. Burning up. What is _wrong_ with me? Huh. The Jonas Brothers' initials are JB. So are Justin Bieber's initials. That makes me laugh…) Burning up would almost be as bad as the time a dead person beat me on Tap Tap Revenge (one of the most addicting iPod games ever). Fireflies in extreme is _confusing_. And for the record, I was having a bad day!

Being a child of Hades, I could go into Elysium occasionally, which is where I had gotten pwned at TTR. I had talked to Silena and Beckendorf in Elysium. They were happy together. I had barely known them when they were alive, but I had gotten to know them in death. I had talked to Bianca too. Whenever I saw Bianca, it felt like a new wound was opening up inside of me (emo alert!). I had accepted that she was gone a long time ago, but whenever I saw her, I started missing her all over again.

Though these cookies definitely took some of the pain away.

* * *

"We should watch her," Percy said. It was the morning and Annabeth, Percy, and I were discussing how my sword had gotten taken with Chiron. Dionysus was off somewhere planting grapes. We had gathered in the Big House. Becci was still our prime suspect. I had decided to tell Chiron to see if he had any ideas. Because apparently, I wasn't smart enough to think of a way to get out of this mess. It was true though. I had screwed up a lot in the past. I just decided to omit those events from my memory.

"But we shouldn't jump into conclusions. This Becci girl could be innocent for all we know. She could've been in the wrong place at the wrong time," Chiron said thoughtfully, stroking his beard. I notice that people who stroke their beards while saying stuff sound smart. Maybe I should grow a beard. I just tried to imagine myself with a beard. Ew…no. I'd look like a creeper.

"If she really is innocent, it's a really big coincidence that she got Nico out of his cabin at exactly the same time his sword was taken," Annabeth said.

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that coincidences are rare," Percy said.

Annabeth smiled and punched Percy's arm playfully. "Wow, Seaweed Brain. You actually said something smart," Annabeth said jokingly.

"Gee, thanks," Percy mumbled sarcastically.

"So what weapon is Nico going to use to fight now?" Annabeth asked.

"I guess he'll have to use one of the camp swords," Chiron suggested.

This was nice. They were talking like I wasn't even there. I feel so loved. So important. Maybe they were going to give me a medal to congratulate me on being awesome soon.

"Do you think Nico can fight with a sword he isn't comfortable with?" Percy asked.

Annabeth snorted. "It's not like he _really _has to fight. We're not in the middle of a war."

I coughed and three pairs of eyes turned to face me. "You know, you could just ask me. I'm right here," I pointed out. "And I don't really have a choice—unless one of you can make my sword magically appear out of thin air."

"Is there the slightest chance that you may have misplaced it?" Chiron asked me.

I shook my head. "I searched my whole cabin."

After a few more minutes of getting absolutely nowhere, I decided to leave the Big House and just wander around aimlessly. I found myself walking into the dark, scary woods. Okay, the woods weren't really dark and scary—it was abut noon. But it just sounds so much more ominous, man diary.

I began walking toward a clearing in the woods where I had used to come and think when Bianca had gone on the quest when we had just found out we were half-bloods. I used to try to imagine what she was doing on the quest—fighting a scary monster, trying to run away from a scary monster, or anything else involving scary monsters (and yes, that included serving tea to a scary monster). I'd been mad at Bianca for joining the Hunt at first, but I'd slowly gotten over it. When I got to the clearing, which was surrounded by trees, I remembered that I'd hidden something there.

My Mythomagic action figures and cards.

They're not dolls, so don't judge me!

I won't tell you where I hid them because I'm afraid someone's going to find this man diary and find out where I kept my cards. I had some dang powerful cards. I had Ares in there and a card that could double his attack points. Also a lightning bolt card that could diminish another card's attack points. I had—

Okay, I'll stop now. I can tell you're not very interested, man diary. No one appreciates Mythomagic anymore. At least, no one at camp.

Minos had told me to burn most of my Mythomagic cards and action figures, but he hadn't known that I had kept some here at camp. I took out the box that I kept them in and began examining the action figures (not dolls). They looked fine even though I hadn't taken them out of the box in a while. I knew it was childish, but I wanted to play that game again. It reminded me of when Bianca was still alive.

Once a Mythomagic player, always a Mythomagic player.

That probably sounded really stupid. Oh well, I sound really stupid most of the time.

I held the action figures in my hand. I remembered that when I was younger, I used to pretend the action figures were having a conversation with each other, with me doing their voices. Yes, it was similar to how little girls played house with their dolls, but I had _action figures_, which made all the difference.

I held Aphrodite's action figure. "Oh, 'tis a wonderful day for love!" I said in a high falsetto that was supposed to be Aphrodite's voice. It made me sound like a fangirl on drugs. But then, fangirls always act like they're on drugs.

I picked up Hades' action figure. "It's also a good day for death! Muahahahahaha!" I tried to imitate my father's voice, but failed epically.

"We should all plant flowers and rejoice!" I think Demeter didn't sound as bad as Hades and Aphrodite did. But maybe that was just my imagination.

I picked up Zeus. "I'm going to brew a storm to scare some mortals," I said in a "deep" voice that made me sound like a croaking frog. I heard thunder rumble in the distance, so I guess Zeus wasn't too happy with my crappy imitation of his voice. I set his action figure down carefully so I wouldn't make him even madder, which would be very, very bad.

"Nico, are you talking to _dolls_?" an incredulous voice from behind me asked. I spun around to see Juniper looking at me with a confused look on her face. I blushed. Juniper was pretty in a nature-y sort of way. I could almost hear what she was thinking. Something along the lines of, "Why is a son of Hades—who is probably supposed to be scary—playing with dolls that look suspiciously like the gods?"

I hid the action figures (not dolls!) behind my back hurriedly, probably not doing a very good job because it was obvious that I was trying to hide something. And besides, Juniper had already seen the do—I mean action figures.

"I wasn't talking to them. That would be weird," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. And it was true. It wasn't talking _to_ them, I was talking _for_ them.

"But I could swear that you were trying to imitate a frog or something."

I. Am. Such. A. Fail.

"Me? A frog?" I snorted, hoping I sounded like I thought that was impossible. "Why would I so that?"

"I don't know…" Juniper replied, still looking at me weirdly.

"Exactly," I said. Juniper nodded, seeming to believe me—probably only because the idea of me talking to dolls was too weird. "Besides, they're not dolls, they're action figures," I muttered under my breath, hoping Juniper couldn't hear.

"What?" she asked, surprised. Dammit, she had heard.

"I didn't say anything," I protested. She fixed me with one disbelieving look. I willed her to believe me. If word of this got out, I'd be one dead, _humiliated_ demigod. I'd be forever known as the son of Hades who played with dolls. People wouldn't listen to me if I corrected them and said that these weren't dolls.

Juniper rolled her eyes. "Grover asked me if I'd seen anything strange in the forest the past few days." That made sense. Percy and Annabeth had probably told him. "He told me to tell you what I told him," she said. Did she know who had stolen my sword? Had she seen someone in the woods? Did she know where I could get some more of those delicious cookies? "Um…I saw someone in the woods two nights ago. I thought it was weird because mostly everyone was asleep and nobody who was awake would want to spend time in the woods. Apparently, it's 'scary'. The person seemed to be heading toward the Hades cabin."

Oh, yessums! Maybe I was about to find out who stole my freaking sword.

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" I asked.

"I didn't think it was important," Juniper replied, playing with her hair.

"Did you recognize the person?"

Juniper shook her head. "It was hard to tell in the dark, but I don't think I've seen him around camp before. I would've told you sooner, but I didn't think it was too weird. We get a lot of new campers nowadays."

So it was a guy… "So what did he look like?" I inquired.

Juniper looked like she was trying to remember. "Well, he had curly hair, I think. Pale skin. Really white teeth." Juniper shook her head. "I'm sorry, Nico. It was dark. That was all I could see."

And so the plot thickens. Say that while rubbing your hands together evilly. It looks cool. It makes me look like I'm trying to take over the world. It would be so awesome if I took over the world! I would rename it Nicoland (which sounds like the name of an amusement park) and people would serve me by bringing me cookies daily! Anyway, moving on…

"Thanks, Juniper," I said. There was a possibility that she had seen a camper who she couldn't recognize because it was so dark. And he might not have been walking toward my cabin, just in that general direction. But what would a camper have been doing in the woods so late?

Juniper walked away, presumably to hang out with Grover or turn back into a tree. I walked toward the Big House to tell Chiron about this new development. I was walking past the Athena cabin when I saw Becci walking out of it. I decided to follow her around camp. I was already suspicious of her, and I wanted to see what she did around camp all day to see if she did anything to confirm my suspicions.

Yes, I'm aware that I just sounded like a stalker. I don't give a damn. Ha!

Becci probably wouldn't do anything that would make me more suspicious of her, but it wouldn't hurt to check. Unless, of course, she _saw _me following her and decided to hurt me. Because I was weaponless, that would be very bad indeed.

Becci began walking toward the field where Chiron held archery lessons. I followed her, trying to blend into the shadows so I wouldn't be seen. That plan totally didn't work because it was the afternoon and there were almost no shadows. Well, fail.

Becci had to walk past the Aphrodite cabin to get to the field. I followed her, trying not to look too suspicious. That probably didn't work either because, well, imagine this: A kid dressed in mostly black not-so-discreetly following an innocent-looking girl. What would your first thought be? Probably that I was creepier than Edward Cullen. But no, that wasn't true. Because _no one _is creepier than Edward.

As I was following Becci oh-so-inconspicuously, I saw an Aphrodite girl walking toward me. She had thick blonde hair that was covering half her face, like she was trying to hide or something. She had big blue eyes, and was tall and slender. She was pretty in a _pink_ sort of way. And Nico di Angelo says no to _pink_ girls. Well, that sounds weird…

I was hoping the Aphrodite girl would just ignore me and not try to talk to me, but she saw me and began walking toward me faster. Why me? Why _now_? I kept my eyes averted from her, pretending that I hadn't seen her. I was whistling under my breath. Not suspicious.

Soon, I couldn't ignore her anymore because she was standing right in front of me. She waited for me to look at her and acknowledge her presence. Why did she want to talk to me? As far as I knew, I had never talked to her before in my life. Was I such an irresistible girl magnet?

Yeah, Nico, you wish. You wish.

I looked up. "Hi," I said suavely. FAIL. The girl had pushed her hair away from her face and was now glaring at me with her blue eyes. "You're Nico di Angelo," she said.

No shit, Sherlock. "Yeah…" I said, wondering what she wanted.

The girl crossed her arms over her chest. "My sisters told me what you and your girlfriend did. If you don't like Justin Bieber, keep your feelings to yourself," she said angrily.

I blushed when she called Becci my girlfriend. I just nodded, playing along. I just wanted to get this conversation over with.—Becci was getting farther and farther away by the minute.

"You people think you're so high and mighty, just because you can fight well. You think you can force your opinions on the rest of us. Well…"

I just stopped paying attention to her then. I couldn't effectively follow someone when other people _stopped_ me to talk to me. This stinks. Ugh, I knew my hatred of Justin Bieber was eventually going to come back and bite me. No, not literally. That would be so weird.

I couldn't get away from Crazy Aphrodite Girl who is Apparently Mad at Me (I'll just call her Aphrodite Girl for now) because she wasn't done chewing me out. What I needed was a distraction. Good job, Nico. Others bow before your genius.

I pointed at a random spot in the air. "Look! A butterfly!" I exclaimed, hoping she would be distracted and I would be able to run past her and keep stalking Becci. Aphrodite girls liked butterflies, right?

But Aphrodite Girl just looked at me, blinking in confusion. "What?" she demanded. Okay…maybe she didn't like butterflies.

I pointed at a nonexistent person to her right. "It's Edward Cullen!"

Still, she didn't turn. And now she was probably questioning my sexuality. She raised her eyebrows and in that moment, she looked a lot like a scolding schoolteacher. Damn.

I sighed loudly. "What girl doesn't like Edward Cullen?" I asked. I thought all girls had a thing for the vampire because he was so sparkly. I just shuddered.

Aphrodite Girl placed a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. "The ones who are on Team Jacob," she said impatiently.

Oh. I never understood the Twilight "teams" thing. Bella should've just committed suicide because she's such a wimp.

I decided to give it one last shot. I widened my eyes, like I had just seen something that had shocked me immensely. I pointed in a random direction. "Look! It's a guy with hot emo hair!" I gasped. I feel ashamed of myself.

Aphrodite Girl looked excited. "Where?" she squealed. She spun around to look for the nonexistent guy with emo hair. Now I feel evil. She got her hopes up for nothing. I raced past her, hoping she wouldn't follow me and keep telling me off about "forcing my opinions on other people". When I was certain she wouldn't follow me, I resumed stalking Becci.

That turned out to be a total waste of time. She didn't do anything suspicious. At all. Everything she did was perfectly innocent and normal.

Finally, it was time for dinner. I was in an extremely bad mood. I threw part of my meal into the fire as a sacrifice to Hades darkly. I stabbed at my food darkly. I drank my Coke darkly. I looked at everyone darkly.

Let's just assume that I did everything darkly, okay?

After dinner, we headed to the amphitheater for a campfire. I really wasn't in the mood, but maybe roasting marshmallows and singing stupid yet funny campfire songs would help me feel better about basically wasting my day.

I felt someone tap my shoulder. It turned around to see that it was Percy. "I've noticed that Becci never comes to the campfire," he said. I looked around and sure enough, Becci wasn't in the group of campers heading toward the amphitheater. I immediately knew what Percy wanted me to do.

I ran to the Athena cabin, where Becci was most likely to be. There was a light on inside the cabin. I barged in, not bothering to knock.

Becci was sitting at a table, reading a book. She jumped up when she saw me. I saw the title of the book she was reading. Even with my dyslexia, I saw that the title was The Lightning Thief. I'd never heard of it. She didn't seem to be doing anything wrong, but she looked shocked to see me. "Hi, Nico. What are you doing here?" she asked tentatively.

I plastered a fake smile on my face. I had to get her to the campfire. Maybe I would find out why she avoided it—if she was avoiding it at all. It might just be a coincidence. "Let's go to the campfire!" I said. Becci looked confused by my enthusiasm. Heck, I thought my enthusiasm was weird too.

"Um…actually…" she began, but I barely gave her any time to protest. I grabbed her hand, trying not to dwell on the fact that I was holding a girl's hand, and practically dragged her to the amphitheater. She stayed at the edge of the group of campers, away from the fire. I tried to pull her closer, but she wouldn't budge. She didn't explain her reluctance to come closer to the fire.

"Come on. Let's go roast marshmallows," I said. She shook her head vigorously and stared at the fire with a weird look in her eyes. I couldn't tell what it was. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing," she mumbled. She tried to take a step forward but it was like her feet wouldn't obey her and she couldn't move. She looked tense and her eyes were fixated on the fire. That was when I recognized the look in her eyes. Fear.

"We don't have to go closer if you don't want to," I said. Inside, I was disappointed. I wanted some marshmallows! Becci nodded and sat down.

I spent the rest of the time making small talk with Becci until it was time for bed. She was a horrible conversationalist. Though that might be because she was staring at the fire like she couldn't look away.

* * *

Now I'm in bed, pigging out on cookies. You know, man diary, today wasn't too bad. I have no need to say FML.

Oh, I just said it.

FML

**AN: I don't particularly like this chapter, but I don't hate it either. Over 3,000 words. This means I should get a ton of reviews, right? I know what I'm doing for the next chapter, but I don't know what to do after that. I know how this story is going to end, but I don't know how I'm going to get there. Any suggestions? I find that music helps me think so if anyone can think of any songs that go with this story, it would probably help me get ideas. **

**Please, please, please review? **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I'm so sorry you had to wait so long, but this chapter is basically filler. And it's not even **_**funny**_** filler, so I fail. At least it's long, right? Heheh… I **_**really**_** fail. I'll update faster when I think of an actual plot for this story. I know how it's going to end, but no idea how to get there. I know nothing about Mythomagic. I don't think it even exists. I just made stuff up as I went along. The idea for the Mythomagic thing goes to 3FeetFantasy. **

Bieber Fever sucks more than Twilight vampires (pardon the pun). Why do you pardon puns anyway? It doesn't make any sense! It was a testament to my boredom that I started writing about pardoning puns. Haha. Pardoning puns. That sounds funny.

* * *

I was extremely bored this morning. So bored that I would've done anything to relieve the boredom. Well, maybe not anything…ugh, you know what I mean. I would've done _almost _anything. But there were some things I would refuse to do. Like…um…go door to door selling Girl Scout cookies while dressed up as Barney. All this boredom almost makes me want to go to the Underworld to talk to some dead people.

Yep, you know your life is messed up when you _want_ to talk to dead people.

I probably should've gone outside and get some training done, but frankly, I was too lazy to do any of that. Have you had a day when you want to do absolutely nothing, yet doing nothing bores you to death? This was one of those days.

I considered getting my Mythomagic stuff from the clearing in the woods, where I had left them after Juniper had caught me, but it was no fun playing Mythomagic by myself. Of course, I could always challenge myself to a Mythomagic duel, but then I would inevitably lose. And win. At the same time. Which makes no sense, but it was true!

Well, at least there was a _tiny_ bright side to this boredom. At least I'm not dead! That was a pathetic bright side, so I decided to go outside. Better than staying in here and wallowing in self-pity.

I was walking past the woods when I noticed that someone seemed to be trying to hide in there or something. Well, I saw a flash of red t-shirt at least. At first, I disregarded it—maybe some of the younger campers were playing hide-and-seek or something. It was an area of camp that not many people hung out in, so the person would've been guaranteed more privacy than in any other part of camp—except possibly in the bathroom. I couldn't tell who the person was because he or she was partly behind a tree. His or her back was against the tree. The person was holding something in his hand. It was shiny, so it reflected off sunlight. And since I kind of like shiny things (who doesn't?), I got closer to see what it was. I think it's part of human nature to like shiny things. Maybe when we see something shiny, we think of gold or silver and automatically want it.

But I digress.

Anyway, as soon as I saw that flash of shininess, I decided to take a closer look. Nobody was around, so I approached the person quietly, feeling very creeper-like. I figured that because the person seemed to be hiding—and doing a crappy job of it—I didn't think he or she would appreciate someone finding him or her out. So I was thoughtful enough to make sure no one was following me. But then, the person might not have been trying to hide at all. But this was a part of camp that was usually deserted, so why would someone come here unless he was trying to avoid other people?

As I got closer, I saw that the person was facing away from me and was totally absorbed in the shiny object in his hand, so the person couldn't see me approaching. Idiot. As I got closer, I saw that the person was male. I couldn't see his face because he was turned away from me and because it was partly covered by the shadows of the trees surrounding him. I got a few feet closer and saw what the source of shininess was.

When I saw it, my jaw dropped and only one thought was running through my head: _Di immortales!_

"Is that the Helm of Darkness card with 1000 attack points?" I asked, barely able to contain my excitement. I didn't think before I acted, I just blurted out what came to mind. It was the Helm of Darkness card that could give the user 1000 attack points if it was paired up with Hades' card. There were only about 5 Helm of Darkness cards in the world! Anyone with that card and also a Hades card would be almost undefeatable. I had always wanted one because 1) it was powerful and 2) it was shiny. I had never expected to see one at Camp Half-Blood. I didn't even know that anyone here played Mythomagic. I thought it was only mortals who played, since half-bloods knew that Greek mythology was true anyway.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement.

The owner of the epic card turned around suddenly. It was that guy Becci had been arguing with a few days before. Kyle. He was the Ares kid who wasn't as buff (understatement) as the other ones. When he saw me, he looked surprised too. "Aren't you Nico di Angelo?" he asked me in disbelief. That was when the fact that I had let some of my knowledge about Mythomagic slip hit me. Uh-oh. Only a few people knew I played, and after Minos had made me burn my most of my Mythomagic stuff, I didn't really want anyone else finding out. They all thought it was childish.

I didn't answer him.

"How do _you _know about Mythomagic?" he asked suspiciously. I noticed that he was holding the card behind his back so that I wouldn't be able to see it. It wasn't like I wanted to steal it! But I had to admit that I wanted to hold it in my hand just to make sure it was real. I was still in shock. That card was epic! Have I already said that? Well, let me reiterate it. It was epic!

"Ha! So you admit it was a Mythomagic card," I accused. He blushed.

"No, I didn't," he protested. Apparently, he didn't want the fact that he played Mythomagic to get out either. We glared at each other for a few more minutes, having a little staring contest. We wanted to see who would crack first. But both of us were equally unrelenting. Finally, I sighed.

"This is pointless," I admitted. I think Kyle hadn't even heard me because he had been glaring at me too intently to notice anything else. I waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention.

He jumped back about a foot. "Are you always this jumpy?" I asked him. I figured it was because all the other Ares kids kept picking on him because he was so much smaller than them. He would _have _to be that jumpy if he was surrounded by kids who were so much bigger than him and could beat him up at any given moment. I would even feel sorry for him, except for the fact that he had a Mythomagic card superior to my own.

He laughed nervously. "I'm not jumpy."

I brought my hand up to poke his shoulder. He jumped away before I made contact. "Not jumpy at all," I sad sarcastically.

"Okay, maybe a little," he admitted. His eyes darted around nervously to make sure no one else was near. It would be embarrassing if someone else had been around. Imagine a son of Ares and a son of _Hades_ talking about Mythomagic. Especially if one of them had once claimed to be the ghost king. But I had really just wanted to annoy Minos.

"Don't tell anyone about me playing Mythomagic, okay?" Kyle whispered nervously, his eyes still looking around.

"Only if you don't tell anyone about me."

"Let's shake on it," he offered. He held out a hand and I shook it.

"I can't believe a child of Ares plays Mythomagic. Aren't you all supposed to be tough and strong?" I asked after we made our deal. I still couldn't believe that I found another half-blood who played Mythomagic.

"I can't believe a child of _Hades_ plays Mythomagic. Aren't you supposed to be emo?" he countered.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I'm not emo!"

"But you wear black all the time!"

"That doesn't mean I'm emo."

"Really?"

"Has it occurred to you that I just like wearing black?"

"So if you're not emo, are you goth?" he asked. I ignored him. There was an awkward silence because we didn't have anything to say to each other. I didn't want to ask about the card because I was afraid that he would think that I was trying to take it from him, which would be an incorrect assumption. I wasn't a child of Hermes.

"When did you start playing Mythomagic?" I asked to break the silence.

"Ever since it was invented," he replied.

"Wasn't that before you were born?"

"How do you know I wasn't playing Mythomagic in the womb?"

That image was kind of disturbing so I chose not to reply. I _really _wanted to look at his card, but asking him might be a bad idea. But it was so hard to resist the urge. One of the most powerful Mythomagic cards ever made was only a few feet away from me. If I just moved to the right a few feet and moved my hand a few inches, I would be able to snatch the card out of Kyle's hand. But I refrained from doing so. I'm such a nice person. But it was tempting…so tempting…

"Can I look at your card?" I blurted before I could chicken out.

"Do you know how expensive this is? Of course not?" he said irritably.

"Please?" I begged.

"No f-ing way."

"I just want to see it."

"Over my dead body." Huh, maybe he shouldn't have said that to a child of Hades…

"Give it to me or I'll tell everyone you play Mythomagic."

"You know I'll just do the same thing to you, right?" he said. I looked at him pleadingly for a few minutes and he finally sighed in defeat. He held out the card to me, but before I could get it, he pulled it back suddenly. "Don't drop it, sweat on it, or eat it, okay?" he warned. I didn't know why he thought I would _want _to eat it. It didn't look very edible. I nodded, still staring at the card like I was a hungry man seeing a feast. The card was _that_ awesome.

"Whatever," I said dreamily. The awesomeness of the card combined with its shininess was mesmerizing. I reached out a hand and took the card, looking at the "1000" right next to the words "Attack Points" for a long time. I held the card up to the sunlight filtering through the trees so that the card looked even shinier. Kyle and I were both staring at the card reverently.

"Awesome, huh?" he asked.

"1000 points of pure power," I agreed. Then a thought struck me. "How did you get the card?"

Kyle blushed. "My mom knows I play Mythomagic and she got it for me," he mumbled. I kind of wished _my_ mom would do stuff like that for me. But she's dead, so.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching. Kyle must have heard them too because he hurriedly hid the card behind his back. I really hoped the person approaching wasn't Juniper. She probably wouldn't let this go a second time.

"Hurry, hide behind this tree!" Kyle pointed to a random tree. It had a pretty thin trunk and wasn't adequate cover for even _one _teenage boy, much less two.

"Why that tree?" I whispered back urgently.

"Do you have a better idea?"

I shrugged and hid behind the tree.

The person who was approaching the woods was making a huge racket, bumping into trees, and stepping on branches. I peered around the trunk of the tree and saw a blonde head and pink clothing. _Di immortales, _that probably meant daughter of Aphrodite. This wasn't going to end well. As she got closer, I saw that it was the girl I had argued with yesterday. No way. She put a hand on her hip and glared at the tree I was attempting to hide behind. And failing.

"You know I can see you, right?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

Neither Kyle nor I answered her.

"Seriously. The hiding isn't working."

"Did you two come out here to, like, make out or something?"

Well, _that _certainly deserved an answer.

"No!" I exclaimed, jumping out from behind the tree.

"Of course not!" Kyle said a few seconds too late. In his haste to deny what she had said, he had forgotten to keep the Mythomagic card behind his back so that Aphrodite Girl wouldn't see it. If I had a desk available and was prepared to lose a few brain cells, I would've headdesked.

So yeah, Aphrodite Girl saw the card.

And proceeded to squeal loudly.

"OHmygosh, I that like the Helm of Darkness card?" she yelled. She seemed to have the same reaction to the card as I had. She definitely hadn't thought before speaking. Now we knew she knew about Mythomagic. Which is kind of weird because I thought only geeks liked Mythomagic. Did I just call myself a geek? "Oh, um, ignore what I just said," she muttered when she realized what she had just said and blushed.

I was having a hard time holding in my laughter. "_You _play Mythomagic?"

Aphrodite Girl sighed, deciding that there was no point denying it. "So what?" she asked.

"This is even weirder than Nico playing Mythomagic!" Kyle said, shocked.

"It's not weird," I protested.

"Ehmagawd, my feet hurt. Can we like sit down?" Aphrodite Girl complained. That was when I noticed that he was wearing stilettos. Wow…

"Whatever, Aphrodite Girl," I said, plopping down on the ground. Kyle did the same, still looking like he was in shock.

"I have a _name_, you know," she whined.

"Then what's your name?" I said, matching her whiny tone. She glared at me. Seemed like this girl only had two emotions: whiny and mad. And I thought her mother was the goddess of _love_.

"Samantha."

Kyle and I waited for her to sit down—it her been her idea, after all—but she didn't.

"Uh…didn't you want to sit down?" I asked impatiently.

She looked disgusted. "Ew, did you _really _expect me to sit down on the ground?"

"It was _your_ idea," I pointed out.

"But I didn't know that you'd think I'd sit down on the actual _ground_."

"Where _else _are you going to sit?" I asked exasperatedly.

She looked like she was trying to think—must be pretty hard for a daughter of Aphrodite, huh? "Give me your hoodie," she finally said to me.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Because my skirt is [insert the name of a designer I can't remember here] **(AN: Nico wrote that, she didn't say it)** and I can't get it _dirty_. I need to sit on your hoodie. Duh," she said matter-of-factly.

I just stared at her. "You're _that _afraid of getting dirt on your skirt?"

"Duh, it's [insert designer here]."

I sighed and handed over my black hoodie. Samantha threw it on the ground quickly, as if its color would contaminate her pinkness or something. Then she sat on it carefully, trying not to get dirt on her skirt. Girls are so confusing.

Kyle was still silent, and as I glanced over at him, I noticed that his mouth was slightly agape. I guess he had never been in close proximity with even a semi-pretty girl before and was nervous. Yeah, I had to admit she was pretty, but the pinkness kind of ruined it. Didn't seem like that fact was having any affect on Kyle. Sucker. Even I'm not that pathetic. Well, it was up to me to direct this conversation.

"You play Mythomagic?" I asked Samantha. I was still having trouble believing this, but it seemed like it was even harder for Kyle to believe it because he was still gaping and his eyes were wide.

Samantha blushed. "Don't tell _anyone. _I've been playing since I was a kid."

"Isn't it kind of geeky for a daughter of Aphrodite to play Mythomagic?"

"So what?" she asked, annoyed. "Aren't goth kids not supposed to play geeky games either?"

"Why does everyone automatically assume that I'm goth or emo?" I demanded.

She ignored me and turned to Kyle. "Can I see your card?" she asked him. He didn't answer because he didn't seem capable of speaking, so Samantha took his silence as a yes. She reached over to grab the card. Suddenly, his face turned red and he jumped up. He moved a few feet away from her reaching hand.

"If you didn't want me to see your card, you could've just told me," she said, a little miffed.

"Uh…it's not that. I-it's j-just…" he stammered. Yes! I've finally found someone who's worse around girls than I am! Kyle blushed madly again, then took a deep breath. "Here's the card," he finally said, and handed the card to Samantha.

Samantha took the card and gazed at it worshipfully. Who knew an Aphrodite girl could like Mythomagic?

"Ew…it's all sweaty," she squealed suddenly, dropping the card and wiping her hands on her skirt repeatedly. She pushed the card away from her with the toe of her pink stiletto.

Who knew that such an _annoying _Aphrodite girl could like Mythomagic?

"Sorry," Kyle said. At least he wasn't stuttering this time. Maybe he was getting his brain back. He picked up his card and wiped the dirt off it. Then he stuffed the card into the back pocket of his jeans unceremoniously. I wanted to cry. How could he treat such an awesome card so badly?

"I still can't believe you play Mythomagic," I said to Samantha.

"OMG, get over it, Hades kid."

"What are you doing out here in the woods anyway?" I asked.

"Well, um…" Samantha bit her lip. She held up her iPhone. "I wanted to check my stats in the online Mythomagic game where no one could see me."

For the third time that day, I was shocked. "You play the online game too?"

"_Every_ devoted Mythomagic player plays the online game," she said. Well, that was why I was surprised. I knew she played, but I didn't know she was devoted.

"What's your username?" I asked.

"It's justinbieberishawt."

"I didn't know whether to be horrified or to laugh. "Really?"

"No," she said, rolling her eyes. "If that was _really _my username, everyone on the site would want to kill me. Even though Justin is totally hot. My username is kissmyass."

Huh. Hadn't seen that one coming. Kyle muttered something under his breath that sounded like, "I would _love _to kiss your ass."

"I've played a battle against you before!" I said, suddenly remembering. I neglected to mention that I had lost that battle. Badly.

Samatha looked interested. "What's your username?"

I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping she didn't remember about that battle. "Definitely_not_emo," I said. Kyle snickered at my username.

Samantha tapped her chin with a finger, thinking. "Didn't I battle you online once? And didn't I win that battle, leaving your army of dracenae in the dust?"

"Yeah," I admitted, looking at the ground. I _really _wanted to wipe the smug look off her face.

"But don't daughters of Aphrodite hate violence and try to stay out of it?" Kyle asked, finally joining the conversation.

"Usually," Samantha said.

"And isn't Mythomagic Online basically people fighting each other?"

"Where are you going with this?"

Kyle mumbled something incoherent.

"I'm not scared of fighting," Samantha said stubbornly. "Or bugs," she added as an afterthought. "Because everyone seems to think I am."

That was when I noticed something black and hairy crawling up Samantha's arm. "Uh…there's a spider crawling up your arm," I said pointing to it.

Samantha rolled her eyes and glared at me. "How stupid do you think I am? I'm _so _not falling for that."

"I mean, there's an actual spider crawling up your arm," I said as seriously as possible.

Samantha finally looked down at her arm. Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She then gave the loudest shriek I had ever heard.

"Shoot! Get it off me!" She shook her arm vigorously to throw the spider off. It looked like she was having a seizure. "Eek!" she yelled. I really hoped no one had heard. I hadn't seen anyone freak out this much before. It was hilarious.

But after five minutes, her constant shrieking got kind of old, so I slapped my hand over her mouth. "Calm down. You got the bug off," I said. She looked down at her spider-free arm and gave a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. It flew on me," Kyle grumbled. I saw that the spider and landed on his forehead when Samantha had shaken it off her arm. He picked it up and set it down on the ground. At least _he_ wasn't afraid of bugs.

I moved my hand away from Samantha's mouth, hoping that she wouldn't start screaming again.

"Okay, maybe I'm a _little_ scared of them," she admitted.

"Still think you're not afraid of fighting?" I asked, my voice laced with sarcasm.

"Of course I'm not," Samantha said defiantly.

That was when I came up with a brilliant plan. "We have capture the flag tomorrow. Aphrodite's cabin never plays. You should play. It's the perfect opportunity to prove you're not a coward."

Samatha hesitated for a moment. "Fine," she finally said. I caught a bit of nervousness in her voice.

I got a daughter of Aphrodite to play capture the flag. This should be interesting…

Kyle looked at his watch. "We should go. It's time for lunch."

All three of us stood up. Samantha picked my hoodie off the ground and gave it to me.

"See you at capture the flag," I said like it was no big deal.

"Can't wait," she replied, matching my tone.

Kyle looked around to see if anyone was near. "If anyone asks, this meeting never happened," he said. Samantha and I nodded. "We've never talked to each other and have no clue what Mythomagic is."

"Okay," Samantha and I said at the same time, which made us glare at each other.

"I'm not scared," she said one last time.

"We'll see," I said happily. With those words, we all went our separate ways.

So now two more people know that I play Mythomagic, something that I definitely didn't want getting out. No matter what we promised, they could still tell everyone.

FML.

**AN: This chapter sucked. I think I'll go flame something to cheer myself up. Well, I set the stage for a capture the flag game where an actual Aphrodite kid will join. Joy. It'll be an interesting game. I think I'll get to use my nonexistent rhyming skills in the next chapter (hint, hint). **

**Review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Ugh, updates for this are going to be erratic. Very erratic. I'm so busy with school crap. Keep in mind that I suck at writing action. I'm a humor kind of person. Even angst sometimes. Not action. I still haven't come up with a dang plot outline! I have a list of ideas, but no outline! I had to write an essay in English today and, well, I pretty much failed (I didn't get my grade back yet though). On the bright side, I don't **_**think**_** I failed my Geometry quiz! I'm pretty sure I got a C or a D on that though…which is an Asian fail… This chapter isn't funny, but at least it gets interesting…sorta…maybe… I'm leaving for the weekend, so no PMs, review replies, updates, or reading chapters until Monday. **

Dear Man Diary,

There's only one thought running through my mind right now: Are half-bloods allowed to bring Mythomagic action figures and excessive amounts of cookies on quests?

What? It's a valid question!

Okay, I'm exaggerating when I say that's the only thought running through my mind, but it is the dominant thought and I'm honestly curious. Almost as curious as I am about _who stole my freaking sword_. I want my sword back. So if anyone gets their hands on this diary and knows something about it, contact me! Of course, I really _hope _no one gets their hands on this. There's probably more stuff that someone could use to blackmail me in here than I'd like.

I guess I'm just trying to get all of my ramblings out of my system because things are going to start getting serious very, very soon.

How fun. I can't wait. This will be almost as fun as having a conversation with my father when he's in one of his _moods_.

And everyone knows how much of a conversationalist _he_ is.

* * *

I was sitting at dinner, waiting for Chiron to announce the game of capture the flag that was to take place that evening when I realized something very important.

I didn't have a weapon.

You see, I had yet to choose a sword that the camp owned for my temporary use. Because I'd been…occupied with other things. *cues flashback of playing with action figures* Whoever stole my freaking sword was going to pay. I was going to shut him or her in a room with absolutely no options for entertainment whatsoever except an iPod filled with Justin Bieber and High School Musical songs. The songs would get stuck in the person's head…sweet, sweet revenge.

I had temporarily allied myself with the Aphrodite, Athena, Apollo, Hermes, and Poseidon cabins (it feels weird to say that since there was only Percy). Ares, the sons and daughters of the minor gods, Hermes, Dionysus, Demeter, and Hephaestus were the enemy. They would be pretty hard to beat and it would be an interesting challenge, but my heart wasn't really in it. Not without my poor sword.

The conch horn blew, signaling the end of dinner. My food suddenly disappeared from my plate. I was momentarily disappointed. I hadn't finished my chocolate pudding.

Ares and Athena were leading the teams, as usual. We campers gathered in the middle of the dining pavilion to hear what Chiron had to say, even though we already knew the rules. The excitement in the air was palpable. Everyone seemed to be dying for a chance to fight other people. I had a feeling the "no intentional maiming" rule was about to be broken a few times.

"Dude, do you actually think Aphrodite Girl will participate?" Kyle asked, suddenly appearing next to me. He was actually pretty cool when you talked to him away from girls who made him tongue-tied. Okay, the only reason I thought that was because I had a Mythomagic duel with him this morning and won. But that was only after I told him he couldn't play with the Most Epic Card Ever because then he would definitely win. On the bright side, it made me feel better. Beating him, I mean. He was almost a friend. We shared a common obsession.

"Are you _kidding _me? Aphrodite's kids would probably start offering their enemies free makeovers if you force them to fight," a female voice on the other side of me scoffed. It was Becci.

"I doubt they would actually do that," I said. I didn't know why I was defending Samantha. Maybe it was because if she got hurt, it would be my fault for goading her into participating. Or maybe I just wanted to defend a fellow Mythomagic player. After all, we have to stick together because everyone else thought we were just geeks.

Well, we are.

But they didn't need to make fun of us.

Becci laughed. "Maybe they'll spray them with perfume and hope that they die by some magical force." She wiggled her fingers in a way that was meant to signify some form of magic. Word had gotten out that a daughter of Aphrodite was to participate in a game of capture the flag and bets had already been made on how long she would last before getting hurt. The popular bet was on five minutes. Somehow, it didn't make me feel better that she was on _my _team, but it was too late to switch teams since I had already made my alliance a week ago.

"I think everyone's going to attack her first," Kyle said.

"I would feel sorry for her if she wasn't so annoying," I mused.

"Huh. She's kinda like Kyle," Becci said, glaring at him.

"I'm not that annoying!"Kyle protested petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Suddenly, Annabeth, our team captain, spied us and began to make her way over. We hadn't been told our positions yet so I assumed that was why she wanted to talk to us. I groaned, knowing that she would give me a crappy position because I'd have to use a sword I wasn't comfortable with. Sure enough, Annabeth told me, "You're on border patrol." I was about to whine about it when she turned to Kyle. "You're not on our team."

"No," he answered sarcastically.

"We're talking strategy now. Leave."

"Fine," Kyle said huffily, stalking away. "But when my team obliterates your team, I'll remember that you were mean to me!" he called out, turning around for a brief second.

I glared at Annabeth. "What's up your butt?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!" she snapped. "It isn't like Percy and I are fighting. Because of course we aren't. I mean, he didn't interrupt our date so he could answer a phone call from Rachel. Of _course_ he didn't…"

She said more, but I wasn't really in the mood to hear all her problems. Besides, she and Percy always had these stupid little fights that they would forget about the next day. Luckily, Becci cleared her throat, interrupting Annabeth's little rant. "Um…weren't we going to discuss strategy?" she asked.

"…it's not hard to remember someone's birthday," Annabeth continued, still on a roll. I didn't think she even heard Becci. Finally she stopped and looked at Becci. "Did you say something before?" she asked like nothing had happened.

"That we should discuss strategy?"

Annabeth let out a deep breath. "Right. We're sending decoy groups to create distractions while Percy 'attempts to get the flag'. We're going to let him get captured while another group sneaks through their defenses and steals the flag. I think it'll be near the Poop Pile." Thunder rumbled in the distance and Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Fine. Zeus' Fist."

That must have placated the gods because all was silent.

"Why do I have to be on border patrol though? Nothing exciting never happens!" I protested.

"Well, you don't even have a sword that you can fight well with." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Plus, I need you to keep an eye on Samantha to make sure she doesn't…die."

Becci tactfully looked like she hadn't heard a thing.

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"But no one else will do it. And if she gets hurt, Chiron might get mad at me." Annabeth looked at me pleadingly. "Plus, who knows? Maybe you can make a new friend!" She tried to sound optimistic, but failed. Epically.

"But she's annoying."

"That's why no one else will do it," Annabeth said impatiently. "She can't be _that_ bad."

You know in movies, whenever there's an awkward silence, crickets always start chirping in the background? That's what happened then.

"She's that bad?" Annabeth asked.

I nodded slowly.

I looked over at Samantha, who was putting blush on while looking into a handheld mirror. Why would you even need makeup? I guess that wouldn't occur to a daughter (and quite possibly son) of Athena though. Someone bumped into her and knocked the mirror out of her hand. Samantha let out a high-pitched squeal and bent down to pick it up, accidentally falling over in the process. I turned back to Annabeth and raised an eyebrow, hoping that would convey my message, which went along the lines of, "You want me to try to keep _that _alive in a game of capture the flag?"

"But she's totally helpless. She'd die within 5 minutes if you don't help her," Annabeth begged.

Well, I couldn't argue with the helpless part.

I looked at her again. She was getting up. At least she wasn't wearing a skirt. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad…

"Okay, fine," I said reluctantly. Annabeth opened her mouth to speak, but I spoke first. "Only if you get me some of those cookies the Stoll brothers had."

"Sure. Whatever," Annabeth agreed absentmindedly, as she was already walking away to talk to someone else. Becci followed her. Percy walked up to Annabeth and tried to speak to her, but she ignored him resolutely. He sighed and his shoulders slumped in defeat. I could practically hear his thoughts, as they would probably be the same as my own in a situation like that. _Women. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em._

I had just subjected myself to what was sure to be a boring game of capture the flag. Might as well get this over with. I made my way over to the table that held weapons and picked a sword at random. It was about three feet long with a celestial bronze blade and a tarnished silver hilt. I held it in my hand, feeling its weight. It wasn't as balanced as my sword, but it would have to do. I grabbed a helmet with a blue plume and shoved it on my head. I usually didn't fight with a helmet, so I didn't have one of my own. This camp one was kind of big on me, and I knew I looked like a total idiot. A total idiot who was seriously craving some chocolate pudding. Preferably served with cookies.

I saw Annabeth go up to Samantha and two of her giggling friends to tell them where they would be stationed. Great. I'd probably have to put up with her _friends_ too. As if putting up with her wasn't bad enough.

I turned to grab a shield. After another few minutes, I heard the conch horn sound again. Some children of Athena ran into the pavilion with their banner and Ares did the same with theirs.

This was going to be so boring.

* * *

Thirty minutes later and I still hadn't been disproved yet.

"So…" I said awkwardly, leaning against a tree.

"So…" Samantha replied with equal awkwardness, playing with a blade of grass she was holding in her hands.

We were stationed next to the creek that formed the boundary between the two teams. It had been a solid 30 minutes of total and complete boredom away from all the action. Annabeth and stationed Samantha and I next to each other and everyone who had bet that Samantha would only last 5 minutes were probably disappointed that she had been given one of the simplest roles ever in this game. Border patrol. Even a sparkly fairy could manage to survive on border patrol. All you had to do was stand there and prepare for the off chance that you'd have to defend the border. Usually, you would get to do _something _at least, but Annabeth had positioned us somewhere no one ever crossed the border.

"This sucks," she said, making a face.

"Worse than Twilight," I said.

"Hey! I like Twilight!"

"Of course you would," I mumbled under my breath.

"I heard that!"

Before she could launch into a lecture about why I shouldn't force my opinions on others, I decided to change the subject. "Where are your friends?" I asked hastily. I had just noticed that they were gone about a minute ago. They had been here (giggling and squealing like crazy) at the beginning, but sometime in the past 30 minutes, they had left without me noticing. My keen powers of observation really are superb!

"They left like 20 minutes ago and _now_ you're asking me about it?" she said, giggling. I hoped that when Annabeth told me to keep an eye on Samantha, she didn't include her friends too. Because then, I'd be dead…

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Well, they left to go chase that Apollo camper Kevin Montgomery a little while ago."

The name sounded familiar… "The one with the Bieberdo?"

"That's the one."

WHY ARE SO MANY BOYS ADOPTING THAT INSANELY GIRLY HAIRCUT? "Why didn't you go with them?" I asked in curiosity. You'd think she would, with her love for Justin Bieber and all.

"He has a foot fetish," she said in a _no duh_ kind of voice.

"…a foot fetish?" I asked uncertainly.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "He likes looking and touching other people's feet. It's like a hobby of his."

o_O

"That's kind of creepy." I cringed.

"OMG, why do you think I didn't go?"

"Why didn't you tell your friends?"

She shrugged. "I had to suffer through it. Now it's their turn." She grinned mischievously.

Wow. Evil.

"He _touched_ your feet?" I asked.

"OMG. Did you really have to ask that? How would I know if I hadn't experienced it yet?"

"I don't know…he might've told you…"

"Would _you_ tell someone if you had a fetish for feet?" she countered.

"No…" I admitted.

"My point exactly."

She grabbed her purse, which was sitting next to her. The bag was big enough to fit a kitchen sink in, or at least, it seemed like it. She dug her hand inside and moved it around like she was searching for something. She finally pulled a book out of her bag.

"Don't tell me you're just going to sit here and read the whole time," I groaned.

"I'm going to sit here and read the whole time. There, I said it. Do you have a problem with that?" she asked. "I lost my cell, or I would just start texting."

I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. "That defeats the purpose of this game. You're supposed to be defending the border."

She looked around, whipping her head from side to side in an exaggerated manner. "OMG. Do you think anyone is going to go past our boundary here? No, of course not. Relax. It's not like anyone's going to attack us."

This is my life, so of course, that was when someone decided to attack us.

It was some guy from the Ares cabin, Tyler Daniels. He ran through the creek quickly, making splashes. Unfortunately, the creek was only about a foot deep, so he didn't drown. As he was running to attack us, he yelled, "Fruitcakes!"

I might have heard him wrong because that was a weirdest battle cry I'd ever heard. Worse than Tyson's, "Peanut butter!" It was like walking into an old ladies' tea party signing Ke$ha songs. Not a good idea.

If Tyler was trying to be stealthy, he was failing.

Maybe he didn't see one daughter of Athena and one son of Hades with a sword he hadn't practiced with as much of a threat. Heck, _I_ didn't see us as much of a threat. Whatever the case, he didn't really seem to be trying. He ran up to me and tried to knock my feet out from under me with his spear. I jumped out of the way in the nick of time (I felt like a ninja!).

"Maybe what I said jinxed us…" Samantha said, observing us from a spot that was totally risk-free. Why didn't she STOP COMMENTING and HELP? Though I didn't know what she could do to help. Try to summon Edward Cullen and hope that he would be able to sparkle my attacker to death?

I stabbed at Tyler with my sword, aiming at a chink in his armor, but he blocked with his spear. I tried to attack a few more times, but he blocked me every single freaking time. I decided that my new target would be his spear, not him.

The bad news? He had the same idea about my sword.

The blade of my sword made contact with the base of his spear. I twisted, hoping to force the spear out of his hand. But I was clumsy with this borrowed sword and he kept an extremely tight grip on his spear, so I ended up twisting my own sword out of my hand. It fell to the ground. I stared at it, feeling like I was such a fail.

Tyler knelt to the ground and picked it up before I could snatch it. H held it out of my reach. "Wow, you're such a fail."

There was no need to rub it in! And this was coming from the guy who yelled "fruitcake" as a war cry.

Suddenly, something pink hit his head and he stumbled to his left…

Falling into the creek.

I hadn't realized that his position on the riverbank had been so precarious. He made a loud splash—water droplets landed on me. He began to sit up again, shaking water off, but I hit his head with the hilt of my sword as hard as I could, and he feel back into the creek, unconscious. I stepped in, wetting the bottom of my jeans, to drag his face out from underneath the water so he wouldn't drown. I felt like being nice and not just leaving him to die. I placed his head on the ground next to the creek, leaving his body in the water. He might develop a cold, but there was no help for it. He was too heavy for me to carry.

I looked at Samantha, who was holding her bag at her side, panting from exertion. All she had done was hit someone with a purse!

"What the Hades do you have in there?" I demanded as I stepped out of the creek, grabbing my sword from where it had fallen in.

"If I told you, we'd be here all day," she said, walking over to the border and looking at a cluster of trees past the creek as if she expected people to rush out of there and attack us at any moment.

"That was kinda cool," Samantha said. "OMG, I was awesome!"

I muttered something under my breath that may or may not have been assent.

Samantha turned around to walk back to the copse of trees we had been hanging around in earlier. As she turned, her bag swung around and hit me in the stomach hard. Damn, it felt like there were bricks in there.

I fell into the creek that I had just stepped out of (irony, much?), but this time, getting a lot more of myself wet than before. I was almost drenched in water.

"What was that for? I yelled above Samantha's laughter. She was doubled over, clutching her stomach, guffawing, which didn't really fit in with her "I'm so ladylike and girly" image.

"It was an accident!" she protested halfheartedly. Her laughs kind of ruined it.

I stepped out of the creek. "You're not a very nice person," I chastised, trying to sound authoritative but failing.

"And you are?"

"Nicer than you."

"This is coming from the guy who stole the Stolls' cookies?"

"They're good!"

I shook myself off as best as I could, which wasn't very well. Luckily, I could tolerate coldness better than most people—the Underworld was freakishly cold, due to the lack of living people.

"OMG, that was so _funny_!" she squealed.

"No, it wasn't."

"OMG, you're all annoyed when you're wet!"

"Yeah, I am."

"OMG—"

"Will you stop starting your sentences with OMG? It hurts my head."

"That's kind of why I'm doing it," she said, smiling. Then he flounced away cheerily to sit under the nearest tree.

That's messed up.

"Get out of the way!" someone on the other side of the creek yelled suddenly. Both Samantha and I turned to see Becci and some other campers running toward us, holding the other team's flag. Some members of the other team were hot on their tails. It would be really strange if they actually _had_ tails.

I stepped out of the way. Becci and her entourage ran through the creek and didn't stop as soon as they reached our side, even though we had already won. They wanted to be sure that they were fully on our side before they stopped.

Which turned out to be a bad idea.

Becci didn't see Samantha's purse, which she had set down in her *cough* laughing fit *cough*. Becci tripped over it and did a face plant on the ground. People watching winced and Samantha backed away, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Becci's anger.

Becci, tight-lipped, got up, but before she could utter a word, Chiron galloped this way, followed by the other campers. But that wasn't the _good _part. Rachel was riding on his back. Which probably meant…it's prophecy time!

Someone needs to come up with a cute little jingle for that!

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

"The blue team wins, and I have to regrettably inform you that it's lights-out in 15 minutes. Nico, can you stay?"

I gaped and made my way over to Chiron. The other campers dispersed, some shooting me curious glances, like they thought I knew more than they did—which, trust me, I didn't. Chiron waited until we were the only people in the woods and then turned to Rachel.

"I had a feeling that I needed to give you a prophecy, and here I am," Rachel said.

A PROPHECY? ME? COOL!

I nodded, telling her to start.

"_Three half-bloods will follow the trail_

_Of the bird of fire and hope they shan't fail_

_Death, love, and war will unite_

_And come together in their perilous plight_

_Truth will beg to be revealed_

_The world to fall apart or be healed_

_And at the end, there will be sacrifice_

_It all depends on the roll of the dice."_

Rachel said this in the creepy voice of the spirit of Delphi, so when she came to the part about the sacrifice, I shivered. WTF? SACRIFICE?

"Well, you should probably start preparing soon, Nico," Chiron said.

I nodded numbly.

"Well, I guess it's time for bed. Nico, I expect to see you in the Nig House tomorrow morning to discuss the prophecy," Chiron said.

"But can you explain it now?" I asked desperately.

"Tomorrow," he replied. Then he walked away.

FML

**AN: Ugh, I have random Forever the Sickest Kids songs stuck in my head because I kept listening to them last night. **

**Review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I'm actually very disappointed in you people. 13 reviews? Compared to the 27 I got for the last chapter? Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, you need to **_**tell me**_**. Please? I'm not going to withhold chapters just because you don't review, but I'd **_**really**_** appreciate it if you did. I didn't write this in my notebook before I typed it, so it might not be very good. I just don't have time to write in my notebook beforehand now. I'd actually intended for the quest to start right away, but I got…carried away. **

Dear Man Diary,

You know what? Oh, screw this! The pen I'm writing with is slowly running out of ink and I have to press hard on the paper to even make a mark. It's. So. Damn. Annoying. Would it hurt Wal-Mart to sell pens that actually _work_? Well, we didn't exactly _buy_ them, but still. I highly doubt Wal-Mart accepts golden drachmas. And we kinda didn't wanna spend any mortal money…

Maybe this is how karma is punishing us for stealing. Well, screw you, karma! Or maybe the world is conspiring against me. I'm pretty dang sure it is. Stupid emo corner is going to be occupied for a while.

* * *

I woke up find two faces looming over mine, looking into my eyes in curiosity.

Now, that may not sound so bad (though very creepy), but they were about 1 foot away—practically _touching _me. Guys don't like their personal space being invaded. So, of course, my natural instinct was to slap whoever was there.

I brought my hand up groggily to deliver what was to be the most pathetic punch ever since I was half-asleep. My hand was basically moving in slow motion. Before my hand could reach them, the two faces pulled back so that my hand connected with thin air and limply fell back to my side. I still couldn't tell who those two people were because my eyes had trouble focusing. Who could blame me? It was 6 o' clock in the freaking morning!

"Go 'way…" I grumbled, my voice muffled by the pillow that I placed over my face so that maybe, by some miracle, I would be allowed to go back to bed.

No such luck.

"OMG, Nico, wake _up_," a female voice whined. Someone started pulling on my leg in an attempt to drag me off, therefore awakening me (doesn't that sound so much cooler than "so that I would fall on my ass and hopefully wake up"?). My first thought was, _There's a girl in my cabin?_

"Don't wanna," I mumbled. Whoever was pulling on my leg was dragging me toward the edge of the bed very, very slowly, so I hoped that I would get a few more minutes of sleep before I had to get up.

"Dude, you're heavy," whoever was pulling on my leg grunted. It was a male voice.

"Don't make me slap you," the female voice warned. That was when I realized that it was Samantha and that the person trying to pull me off the bed was Kyle. Damn, I was _slow_ today.

"Why is the world conspiring against me?" I yelled at no one in particular. I clutched my pillow to my chest, but before I could get a tight grip on it, Samantha pulled it away from me.

"You need to get up and ask Chiron about your quest, _remember_?" she hissed. Was it just me or did she sound like one of those really mean and cranky teachers who liked to torture kids by giving them excessive amounts of homework and projects?

At the mention of the word "quest", I sat up suddenly, accidentally kicking Kyle in the chest. He fell to the floor with an _oof_. Wimp. "What quest?" I asked dumbly, still extremely sleepy.

There was silence. I could practically hear the sounds of the toilets flushing in the distance…

What? Hearing crickets chirping or the phrase "I could hear a pin drop" are so cliché. And since my cabin was near the bathroom, I really _could _hear the toilets flushing. Which is quite sad, actually.

"The quest that you were given yesterday?" Samantha crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. I had a feeling that Kyle would've done the same thing, but he was still pouting because I had kicked him.

"Oh, _that _quest," I said. I blinked, trying to get myself more awake. "You two know about the quest? Were you eavesdropping?"

"You make it sound like you get offered quests every single day," Samantha said, ignoring my question. Huh. A sentence without OMG or "like".

I scrutinized her, trying to figure out whether she was sick or not. "Are you okay?" I asked her tentatively.

"Why?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Because you just said a sentence without sounding girly?" I sounded a lot more unsure than I'd intended to, but that was probably because of the withering look she gave me.

"OMG, like, shut the hell up!" she said sarcastically. She stalked out of my cabin, slamming the door behind her. I noticed that she almost tripped on her heels as she was walking out the door and smirked. As soon as she was gone, I turned to Kyle and gave him a questioning glance.

He shrugged. "She stops talking girly when she's in a really bad mood," he explained.

"What? Did she run out of lip gloss or something?" I retorted.

"Actually, her boyfriend broke up with her."

I raised my eyebrows. "How did you know that?"

Kyle shrugged again. Maybe he did this a lot so his shoulders would get more flexible! I should try it… "I stole her phone and read her texts."

I looked at him incredulously. "How the Hades did you manage that?" Yes, I knew invoking the names of the gods could be bad, but he was my dad, so I didn't think he would blast me into smithereens. Of course, I _did_ forget to give him anything for Father's Day, so you never know…

"She left her purse open one day and I just took it," he said as if it didn't matter one bit. Girls were extremely protective of their purses most of the time. Maybe they kept weapons of mass destruction in there. Managing to look into one's purse was epic.

"And why would she leave her purse near you?" I asked.

"We were preparing to ride pegasi together and she needed to go get her special pink brush." Somehow, this statement made me feel weird, and I didn't even know why. I didn't know what kind of "weird" it was. Weird like "Wow! I just saved a bunch of money with Nationwide! It really is on my side!"? Or weird like "There are ants in my pants!"? Weird like "That potato chip looks a lot like Elvis Presley's face."? Or even, "I just learned how to say 'that's what she said' in Spanish…wait, is it weird that I'm proud of that?"?

Eh…you get the point. "Weird" has many definitions.

"Good job," I praised. "So…why'd he break up with her?" I asked curiously.

"Something about how she…didn't like his stuffed animals." Kyle made a face and started giggling.

"Haha. Haha. That's so stupid," I said halfheartedly. Because deep down, in my soul, I knew that I would also never like a girl who didn't approve of my action figures. But stuffed animals and action figures were totally different. Action figures aren't…stuffed. Huge difference.

"I still have her phone. Wanna see it?" he asked eagerly, pulling something garishly pink out of his pocket. Any guy in its immediate vicinity should be afraid of its presence. "Samantha's phone—"

"Shh," I hushed him loudly. I looked around, paranoid. "She might hear you."

"So?"

"She might get her fellow Justin Bieber fangirls to kill us with their fangirlyness."

Kyle widened his eyes. "That would freaking suck."

We both looked down at her phone, which looked so conspicuous in a room with dark decorations and furniture. "Well, since she's not here right now…" I trailed off, already gravitating toward the phone.

"She'd never found out…" Kyle said uncertainly. He stared at the phone in his hand like it had a disease (maybe phone-itis?). He looked uncertain, so I grabbed the phone out of his hand and turned it on. I sat down and opened her texts.

"Hey, I wanna see!" Kyle scrambled to sit in a position where he could read the screen easily. The first message on the screen was very…um…mean. Yeah, how else would you describe a message that had so many bad words in it that responsible mothers everywhere would chase me down intending to wash my mouth with soap if I said it aloud?

"Wow, harsh," I said, frowning.

"I wonder what she did…"

I found her most recent one to him, which said something along the lines of, "Why, my love? Why?"

Yes, I was exaggerating, but it did sound like it belonged in a crappy teen romance novel. The kind that girls devour when they're PMS-y.

"You suck more than Edward Cullen in a room full of average-looking Mary-Sue girls wearing Bella-scented perfume," was what had caused her to respond like that. This girl must really enjoy getting insulted. That was a pretty creative insult actually. Sounds like something I would think of. What if that guy was secretly me in disguise?

"No. Dude, just…no." Kyle shook his head and took the phone from me.

"Huh?"

"The guy can't be you in disguise. There's probably only one guy in the world who's crazy enough to date someone as temperamental as Samantha."

I cursed under my breath. "Did I say that aloud?"

"Yeah. And if you keep voicing your thoughts, someone's gonna lock you up in a mental asylum soon."

I ignored his comment and grabbed the phone out of his hand. "Can I reply to him?" I asked.

"Well, he's _her_ ex, so maybe you shouldn't," Kyle replied doubtfully.

"Oh, who gives a damn?" I said dismissively. I tapped my chin, thinking for a minute. What? It looks like I'm contemplating something actually necessary to the betterment of the world instead of something totally trivial when I do that. I began typing a message.

"Um…Nico? What are you writing?" Kyle asked, trying to read over my shoulder.

_You, sir, are a complete and total douchebag. Your mother will hunt you down with a bar of soap and force you to wash your mouth while singing Justin Bieber songs while little green men eat your face. And they won't be cute little green men either. No, these are the kind that little children have nightmares about. Enjoy! :)_

"Do you think I should nix the smiley face? Is it overkill?" I asked worriedly.

But Kyle's expression was still kind of like O-O. I decided that the smiley face was acceptable (because it makes hate messages sound so much better and not retarded at all). I sent the text and anxiously awaited an answer. I started humming the first song that popped into my head.

"Why are you humming Frosty the Snowman?" Kyle asked me suspiciously, probably looking for any signs of insanity. Well, the fact that I'm _me _may be one of them.

"It's stuck in my head, okay? Don't hate on Frosty!" I said indignantly. The phone suddenly vibrated, indicating a new text. Kyle and I looked at the screen eagerly.

_Wanna fuck later? I still haven't gotten the chance to do that._

"Well, someone wants to keep the relationship in bed alive," I commented, holding the phone away from me and cringing.

"That was…blunt… Should we reply?"

I glared at him. "No way. I'm giving this back to Samantha. She can answer him however she wants and sound like a heroine in a teen romance if she wants to."

"How are you going to return it?"

"I'll say I 'found it'."

"But you _didn't _just find it," Kyle said, confused. Slowly, comprehension dawned on him. "Oooh, I get it! You're gonna lie!"

Seriously, he was even slower than I was, and that's saying something.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that's kind of the point. Besides, I have to go talk to Chiron about my prophecy anyway." I shrugged and walked to the door, opening it. Kyle walked out and I followed him, closing the door behind us.

Finding Samantha wasn't hard.

She was sitting in front of the Big House, searching through her bag and muttering under her breath. I hid behind a tree, hoping that she wouldn't see me and notice the phone in my hand. You know, in retrospect, maybe it would've been a good idea to _hide it in my pocket_ so that anyone who saw me wouldn't be able to see it right away. This sucked.

I was too late in hiding, because Samantha had seen me. Luckily, she hadn't seen the phone in my hand, which I hastily stowed behind my back. "Nico, have you seen my phone?" she asked as I approached her.

"Er…no?" I said, trying to look innocent. Not easy when you're wearing a shirt with a skull on it.

"It was, like, in my bag this morning," she said frantically.

"Why do you need it anyway?" I asked, careful not to let her see the phone.

She bit her lip. "My b—boyfriend…" she trailed off, and suddenly, tears started to form in her eyes. WTF? This morning, she was irritated, and now she was _crying_?

WHY MUST GIRLS BE SO FRICKIN BIPOLAR?

"Are you…okay?" I asked her tentatively. I patted her head awkwardly. Seeing as she didn't push my hand away right away, I suppose that was the right thing to do. Better than just standing there looking like an idiot, at least.

"Men are such bastards," she complained, sniffling. Can we say bipolar again? And man diary, don't you _dare_ actually say "bipolar" again. Because I hate it when people do that.

"Um…whatever you say?" All my answers ended in question marks now, because if you hadn't noticed (and you would have to be blind to not notice), I didn't know how to act around girls. She grabbed the front of my shirt and blew her nose into it. Ew, now it was all snotty.

"He's such a worthless bastard, isn't he?" she said, still crying.

I didn't know if she was expecting an answer or not, so I just said. "Why don't you talk to one of your girlfriends about this?" I crossed my fingers behind my back, fervently hoping that she would heed my advice.

She frowned, twirling a lock of her blonde hair between her fingers. "They never liked him so they wouldn't care. They think I only liked him for his awesome hair."

"Well, did you only like him for his hair?"

She glared at me. "Well…yeah. But that's not the point."

Since she wasn't exactly looking for her phone anymore, when her back was turned to her purse, I dropped her phone into it.

"Oh, isn't that your phone?" I asked her, trying to sound like I was surprised so that she would think that the phone was there all along and that I hadn't just dropped it in.

Psh, why would I do _that_?

She turned around to look in her purse and looked perplexed when she saw her phone. "It wasn't there before," she mumbled. She picked it up slowly, as if just to see if it was real.

"Well, haha, that's funny! Bye!" I said hurriedly, walking away before she found out that someone who wasn't her had texted her ex back and rightly blame me. I disappeared into the Big House.

"Ah, Nico, there you are," Chiron said as soon as I stepped inside.

"The prophecy," I said immediately, not wanting to beat around the bush. "What can you tell me about it?"

"I've looked over it," Chiron began, "You will follow a bird of fire, of course."

I waited for him to elaborate, but when he didn't, I sighed, accepting the fact that I would have to sound stupid and ask. "And what's that?"

"A phoenix," he explained.

Well, this sparked a tiny bit of comprehension in me. "You mean Dumbledore's pet bird in Harry Potter?"

If there was a desk available, I'm pretty sure Chiron would have just headdesked. "I'm glad the first thing you think of when you hear 'phoenix' is Harry Potter," he said wryly.

"A phoenix has 300 attack points in Mythomagic!" I said excitedly. "Where am I supposed to find a Phoenix anyway?"

"In ancient times, it used to nest and be reborn in the city of Heliopolis. But in modern times, it could really be anywhere," Chiron led me into a room. On the wall of the room was a large painting of a phoenix. It was colorful, and the most dominant colors in its plumage were red and orange. It had a long tail. I ran my fingers along the surface of the painting, outlining its intelligent-looking eyes.

"Now, it has become a symbol for rebirth and has been used in popular culture. And, as you so wisely said, Dumbledore did have a pet phoenix." Chiron smiled a small smile, as if he was amused by me. Well, I was amused by myself too.

"How am I supposed to follow _that_?" I asked, feeling the weight of the quest settle on my shoulders uncomfortably. I realized the difficulty of this mission, which was only made worse by that fact that I didn't even know what I was looking _for_.

"It is your quest, Nico. It is not up to me to plan a strategy for you."

"What am I even looking for?" I asked in frustration.

"I suppose you'll find out on your journey. And I have a feeling that it will have something to do with your missing sword. It is just too big of a coincidence that you get a quest and lose your sword at around the same time for it to be a coincidence."

"So I just look in the sky and hope I see a bird that's on fire and follow it?" I asked hopefully. That would make things so much easier. Sure, there was a whole lot of sky in the world, but a bird on fire couldn't be that hard to miss. I'd just have to go around the world and glance up at the sky every few seconds to make sure I didn't miss anything. On second thought, maybe this wouldn't be so easy after all.

Chiron shook his head. "I don't suspect it will be as simple as that, Nico."

I mulled over his comment for a while, but then decided that there was no point in asking him what he meant by it. I kind of doubted he knew himself. "What does the prophecy mean by 'Death, love, and war will unite'?"

"It could mean those three things will come together. Or the three gods. Or, most likely children of the three gods."

I suddenly remembered earlier, when Samantha was crying. Then I looked down at my shirt. _The freaking snot was still there_. "So does that mean that I have to choose a daughter of Aphrodite to go on my quest?" I asked in a panicked tone. Because the only one I actually talked to was Samantha and she was…unstable. No way was I bringing her on my quest.

"It's your choice, Nico. I'm only saying what I think the prophecy means."

"Then I'm not picking one of them," I said adamantly. Samantha would probably break a fingernail on the quest and be rendered useless for the rest of it or something.

"You need two companions," Chiron pointed out.

"Why can't I just go alone?"' I complained. It would be so much simpler going alone. Then I wouldn't have to put up with getting along with anybody else.

Other People on Quest: Let's play Monopoly or some other board game that will enable all of us to interact and become better friends!

Nico: *goes into corner and is antisocial*

Other People on Quest: You're such a party pooper!

Nico: *more silence*

Other People on Quest: :(

Yeah, that would turn out _so _well.

Though, I guess, if I _had_ to pick two people…

"Kyle and Becci," I decided. Kyle was a friend, but it was good to have someone else who knew how to fight or else we'd all die.

Chiron looked skeptical. "A son of Ares and a daughter of Athena? Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"You said it was my choice."

"Go ahead and start packing. You leave in a few minutes."

"We're starting this quest today?" I asked incredulously.

"It's only 10 in the morning, Nico. You have plenty of time. If I were you, I would tell Kyle and Becci to start packing as well."

And so I walked out of the Big House to do just that.

* * *

Kyle and Becci were way too happy to go on this quest, and they had finished packing in record time. And I didn't think the reason they wanted to go was to spend quality time with me *insert fake tears here* They wanted the chance to be heroes. Well, they would get their chance, provided they didn't die first. We had started in high spirits, but now…well, we had not-so-high spirits.

"So…any idea where we should go?" Kyle asked.

We were standing in a train station that Argus had just driven us to, looking at the train schedules. Each of us had one bag with us, filled with supplies, clothes, and money. Neither Kyle nor I had said goodbye to Samantha, as I was pretty sure she was still having a mental breakdown somewhere.

"Maybe we should go to D.C. Or wait! Houston! No…" Becci said to herself. Then she saw the name of a city and smiled. "How 'bout Phoenix?" she asked, turning to Kyle and I, who were playing chopsticks. She sighed and glared at us. Slowly, we turned to look at her, stopping our game. AND I WAS WINNING TOO!

"What?" I asked her.

"Phoenix?" she said.

"Yeah...I kind of understand we're supposed to find a phoenix, _Rebecca_. You don't have to tell us again." Kyle stuck his tongue out at Becci.

"I _mean_, why don't we _go_ to Phoenix?" she said exasperatedly.

"Arizona? Why would you want to go all the way to Arizona?" I asked her.

She looked at us like we were the two biggest idiots on the planet. Which was definitely not a very nice way to look at us. _Someone_ needs manners lessons.

"Because maybe a _phoenix_ nests in _Phoenix_," she hissed.

"Ohhh," Kyle and I said simultaneously, feeling extremely stupid indeed.

Becci rolled her eyes and walked off. After she was gone, I asked Kyle, "Do you think she deserted us?"

"Probably not, and you'd be the only one who cares if she was gone anyway." He grinned sadistically then began singing. "Nico and Becci sitting in a tree—"

I looked around, hoping Becci wasn't in hearing range. "Stop that! We're not in elementary school!"

Kyle paid me no heed. "F-U-C-K-I-N-G. First comes—"

What the Tartarus? That makes ne want to say 'What the tartar sauce?' instead, actually. Why did they pick a name that sounded like tartar sauce for the darkest pit of the Underworld anyway? I mean—

Focus, Nico, focus.

I clapped a hand over Kyle's mouth. His obnoxious singing was muffled by my hand. He tried to wriggle out of my grasp, but I wouldn't let him. "Promise me you won't tell her I like her if I let you go," I demanded.

He shook his head, but when he realized his efforts to get my arms off him were futile, he sighed and nodded. I let him go slowly, afraid that he would start again as soon as I let him go. Surprisingly, he didn't. He just pointed an accusing finger at me and said, "Ha! So you admit you like her!"

"No effing duh."

"Dude, why don't you just tell her?" he suggested.

"Are you _crazy_?"

"That's what my mom asked me when I played with my sister's Barbies." I looked at him weirdly. "I was 6! Don't judge me!"

Of course, that was when Becci returned. She was looking at the tickets in her hand and didn't seem like she had heard any of our conversation. Good.

"The lady said that they don't sell tickets to minors who aren't accompanied by a parent, but I managed to convince her that I'm 18 using the Mist. I only bought tickets to Virginia though. I don't want to waste that much money. We'll see what we can do from there," she explained. But Kyle and I were once again not paying attention to her, and she seemed to have noticed this. "Why the heck are you not listening to me?"

"I found a hobo," Kyle said.

"The one with the red hair and creepy red mustache?" I asked to make sure. That was what I was staring at too. He was wearing an oversized dirty brown overcoat and ragged jeans with dusty boots. He had a shopping cart with him.

"Yeah. He looks like pedophile material," Kyle commented.

Becci waved her hand in front of our faces to get our attention. "Stop staring at the creepy hobo. We have to get on a bus." With those words, she proceeded to grab our arms and drag us toward the bus that we were supposed to get on, away from Mr. Creepy Hobo.

And thus we embarked on our awesometastic quest.

Oh, who am I kidding?

FML

**AN: I've had Frosty the Snowman stuck in my head all day. :P I have a plot outline written! Finally! It's not as good or as detailed as I would've liked, but it's not that bad, I don't think. **

**Please review and I'll try to update sooner?**

**Review? **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Yeah, I know I haven't updated anything much in a while. I blame school. Over 100 faves? Have I mentioned that you readers are simply awesometastic? The beginning of this was supposed to be short…but then I got carried away…as usual. This chapter is like…filler. I apologize. I'll get a good one up later. There was supposed to be actual important stuff in this chapter, but I decided to cut it out because you'd never get this chapter if I tried to put everything I wanted in. And this chapter is relatively short as well. Sorry.**

If I have to listen to any more classical music, I'm going to strangle someone. Seriously. Who knew Kyle was such a huge fan?

Classical music is so not my thing.

I'd always known that, but I didn't know how absolutely I detest it until now. It's just so freaking boring. Give me Linkin Park any day. And not the crap they're making now either. I was just sitting here, bored out of my mind, when I realized that Kyle had brought along his iPod. So I had grabbed it from him, thinking that he would have some music that I would be able to at least tolerate.

Boy, was I wrong.

But I couldn't stop listening to it because classical music kind of takes over your brain and renders you unable to do anything about it. And when you force yourself to change the song on the iPod (which was difficult, by the way), you find that EVERY FRICKING SONG ON THE FRICKIN IPOD IS FRICKIN CLASSICAL.

Then you sigh and just surrender to the crappy music, even though you hate its guts.

…How did I start talking in second person anyway?

At least Kyle seemed to be having a good time making fun of the look on my face.

* * *

"TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR…" Kyle sang. I groaned and buried my head into my pillow to muffle the noise. We were in a hotel room in Virginia, trying to think of our next move. Sure, we were trying to get to Phoenix in the long run, but what if we got there and found out that the diabolical plot we were trying to prevent from getting carried out wasn't taking place there after all, but in some hick town Texas? That would just suck. Becci was in another room. I was actually surprised that we could afford two rooms, but I was so glad that she wasn't in here. Wouldn't you be glad?

"Will you _stop_?" I asked, throwing a pillow at him.

"What else are we supposed to do in here?"

"I dunno. Watch TV or something," I grumbled.

"But there's nothing good on TV."

"Find something to do other than sing a song about a little star in the sky."

"What do you have against little stars in the sky?"

"I have nothing against them. I have a problem with _your crappy singing_."

"At least I'm not the one who writes in a freaking diary," he retorted.

It took a full minute for his words to dawn on me. I widened my eyes. "I—I don't write in a diary," I denied nervously. Yeah, if he had any doubts that he was right, they would probably have disappeared with my stuttering. I smiled, hoping that would convince him that he was utterly wrong. Ha, probably just made me look constipated or something.

He pointed an accusatory finger at me, which was just plain mean. "Ha! You _do_ have a diary."

"Didn't I just say that I don't?" I replied. I spied your leather-bound cover sticking out of my backpack and willed you to hide yourself with my awesome telepathic powers. You didn't obey me, man diary. You're not a very good friend, are you?

"LIES," Kyle yelled.

"Do you think _I_ would really have a diary? Those are for girls."

He scrutinized me. "Well, you're emo, right? And don't emo people like to whine and complain about their lives? And girls do the same thing with diaries…" He trailed off, leaving me to imagine what he was going to say next, which was probably along the lines of "Nico is a girl and writes in a diary. Whoa, he's even more of a loser than I thought. Is that even _possible_?"

Apparently, it is.

"Why does everyone think I'm _emo_?"

"Well…"

"I don't cut myself nor do I wear tight pants like most emo guys!"

"Well…there was that one time with those jeans…" he mused.

"That was a freaking _dare_."

"But still…" he muttered. I realized that we had stopped talking about my journal, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. Maybe I could somehow dump Kyle in the river Lethe one day and then his memories would be erased. Yeah…that may actually be feasible. I just had to get massive amounts of rare Mythomagic cards to lure him into the Underworld in the first place. Then when he fell into the river, I'd be able to keep the cards. Score!

Wait…man diary, do you think that's too mean? Because I think that might be too mean. Is it? IS IT? Answer me, you inanimate piece of crap!

"Can I read your diary?" Kyle asked, completely out of the blue. I had spaced out for a minute, and his question jolted me back into reality. Seemed like I had thought too soon when I said that maybe he had forgotten about the diary. Or maybe I had jinxed myself…

I looked into his eyes (ew, not in the way that stupid people in romance novels look at each other), and realized that there was no point in denying that I had a diary. He would probably call me out on my lie. "No, of course not. Why would I let you delve into my thoughts?"

"Er…good point. I just thought I'd give it a try." He stood up and began throwing stuff into his backpack.

I was mildly surprised. "Aren't you going to make fun of me and call me a girl?"

"Because well…" He bit his bottom lip and stared at the floor. "I wanted to tell you something, but you can't _tell_ anyone because if you do, I'm going to tell people about your diary. But I kinda want to tell someone, so—"

I cut him off. "Tell me already."

"Ihaveapinkblankie," he said in a rush. He looked at me expectantly.

Well…this was kinda weird…and awkward. And when guys get nervous…well…

"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding." Yeah, in times of distress, make a Chuck Norris joke! Great job, Nico. Really great job.

"I just told you one of my darkest secrets and you make an irrelevant Chuck Norris joke?" Kyle asked in disbelief.

I fixed him with my scariest glare. "A Chuck Norris joke is never irrelevant. It's impossible."

"Aren't _you_ going to call me a girl?"

I shrugged. "Well, we both do things that may be classified as 'girly' or 'childish', so I guess we're even."

"And we can't tell _anyone,_ especially Becci."

"Right," I agreed.

"And for the record, I still think having a diary is girlier."  


* * *

"Do you have any idea where we're going?" I asked Becci. We were walking through the city. We had taken a bus from a stop near our hotel and were now…somewhere…I stared at the sign. Danville. Wow…_someone_ had been extremely creative when thinking of the name for this city.

We had our bags swung over our shoulders and weapons concealed in our clothing or bags like good little questers. Well, my sword was tucked into a sheath at my side, but it probably didn't look like a sword to mortals, so it was still technically concealed. I wondered what it looked like to them. Hopefully _not_ a pink purse. Though with some of the looks that people had given me…it might as well be.

"I'm _telling_ you, we need to find a way to get across the country fast or we're gonna run out of money soon," she replied through gritted teeth. It seemed like she was slightly annoyed with us. Ya know…just maybe.

"What do you want us to do? Magically find a magical creature in the woods my some magical means and hope that it can magically transport us across the country?" I asked, shifting the weight of my backpack from one shoulder to the other uncomfortably.

"You said magical a lot," she said.

"That was kind of the point."

"And besides, I wasn't going to say that we should look for a 'magical creature'," she said, agitated. "I just think we should travel some of the distance on foot to avoid having to spend too much money."

"I'd like to make it there and back before I'm 20," I pointed out. I brushed the sheath with my fingers to make sure that it was still there. Seemed like I had been doing that a lot in the past few minutes. I hoped that I wouldn't have to use it, but at the same time, wanted some action. This quest was probably destined to be the most boring one in the long list of boring quests.

"Only _part_ of the trip. Were you even listening to me?"

Before this could segue into another argument, I interrupted her. "Hey, where's Kyle?"

Both of us looked around frantically, in all directions. When we didn't see him, Becci let out a frustrated sigh. She turned to me, her eyes blazing. "You _lost_ him?" she hissed.

"What? I was supposed to keep an eye on him?" I asked sarcastically. "Because a human being is so easy to keep track of every freaking minute."

"I don't need your sarcasm right now," she snapped. Was it just me or did she sound like a math teacher?

Teacher: Give me your homework, mister.

Student: My three-headed dog named Cerberus ate it. Sorry. Blame my dad for making me feed him without a red rubber ball to distract him if I have to.

Teacher: I don't need your sarcasm right now.

Student: I wasn't being sarcastic…Look, I even have the scars to prove it! Wanna see?

Teacher: o_O

"Do _you_ have any idea where he is?" I retorted.

"Well, there are two things he likes. He'll probably be somewhere where he can find those things. Mythomagic and…"

"Hobos," I completed. Right then, I wished I could do a *foreheaddiary* (that was either genius or an epic fail).

"Should we just walk into a dark alley and hope we find some hobos?" Becci asked worriedly. Her eyes scanned the area, presumably looking for a dark alley that Kyle may have disappeared into. But unfortunately, there were none in sight and she groaned. "Can we please just abandon him?" she said in defeat. There was a hopeful glint in her eyes though, which spurred me to start walking in the direction we came from, hoping to find Kyle along the way. She seemed kind of glad that he was missing and well…I have a bit of a defiant streak.

"We're going to look for him. He's our friend," I said in a determined voice. Becci muttered something that sounded like, "_Your_ friend is more like it," but I ignored her.

After 15 minutes of walking, I was ready to give up.

"Seriously? Where can a 14-year-old geek HIDE here?" Becci growled.

A little girl with blonde pigtails and an unwrapped lollipop in her hand accidentally walked into Becci. She started apologizing, but the glare Becci gave her stopped her mid-apology. Becci wordlessly took the lollipop out of the girl's hand, unwrapped it, and stuck it in her own mouth.

"Beat it, kid," she mumbled with the lollipop still in her mouth. The girl's lower lip trembled and tears started to fill her eyes.

"MOMMY! The mean lady stole my lollipop!" she wailed as she ran off, presumably to tell her mom about how her lollipop was stolen. Becci seemed unconcerned that she was the "mean lady" in question. She closed her eyes and just continued sucking on the lollipop.

I glared at her. "Was that necessary?"

She widened her eyes in an imitation of innocence. "What? I needed some sugar!" she protested.

"It doesn't give you the right to steal a lollipop from a little girl," I reprimanded. I looked around and I saw the girl whispering in the ear of a very angry-looking woman. I decided it was time to get the heck out of there. Fast. I grabbed the lollipop out of Becci's hand and threw it on the ground.

She looked at me in shock. "Give. Me. Back. My. Lollipop," she said menacingly.

"For one thing, it wasn't _your _ lollipop. And for another thing, you can still get it yourself…if you want a bunch of dirt on your lollipop."

We looked at where the lollipop lay on the ground, where I had actually thrown it on some gum that someone had spit out. Becci made a face. "No, thank you."

"Didn't think so," I said.

"Why'd you have to do that anyway?"

"Because we're supposed to be finding Kyle and not stuffing our faces with lollipops," I said exasperatedly. "I know you don't exactly like him, but he's my friend, and he's on this quest with us, so we're not going to leave him behind to hang out with hobos."

"I wasn't _stuffing_ my face," she protested. But nonetheless, she followed after me, trying to keep an eye out for Kyle. I looked around to see if there were any hobos who just happened to be conveniently placed near us.

"Where is he?" I mumbled to myself.

"Dude! You're like the most hobo-iest hobo I've ever met!" I heard someone near us yelling. Was that… "Almost better than Mythomagic!"

I shot a look at Becci. There was annoyance layered with amusement in her gray eyes. "Yeah, I think that's him," she decided.

"You think?" I replied. I started to walk to the right, where I had heard the voice.

And sure enough, there was Kyle, who had seemed to have cornered a hobo on the street. The guy had a dirty jacket over a ripped t-shirt and frayed jeans. His hair was greasy and matted. Typical homeless guy. He had an uncomfortable look on his face and seemed like he wanted to get the heck out of there. Too bad Kyle wouldn't let him. He had him cornered against the wall of a building and was looking at him eagerly, asking him random questions about the hobo lifestyle. When the poor guy saw us, he looked at us like, _Hey, get me out of here. Your crazy friend is going to drive me to the brink of insanity. Help or you'll be shunned by the entire hobo community!_

I approached them hesitantly and tapped Kyle on the shoulder. "Um…what the heck are you doing?" I whispered angrily, so as to not attract more attention than we had already attracted.

"Uh…I'm talking to someone," he said in a matter-of-fact kind of voice.

I gave him a look. And another look. And yet another look…

Yeah, well, okay, you probably get the point.

"Look, kid, can you find another person to annoy? I really have to go um…steal another little girl's lollipop or something," the hobo said, edging away from Kyle. Becci's eyes lit up when he mentioned stealing lollipops. Looks like _someone_ had found her soulmate.

"B—but…I thought we were friends!" Kyle wailed. I sighed, and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away. He tried to break free for a bit, but when he realized that I was a tiny bit stronger than him (understatement…not to sound egotistical :P), he didn't object to be pulled along, which I was grateful for, since if he had struggled for another minute, I was about to let him go and help him interrogate the hobo myself.

What? Kyle wasn't the only weird person around here.

We glanced back at the hobo one more time, only to find that he had run away. Not that I blamed him, but still. This could be my only chance to interrogate a hobo.

Yeah, I totally didn't blame Becci for dragging us by the ears and pulling us away, which she did when she noticed my lack of resolve in pulling Kyle away. Even though it kind of hurt.

Kyle rubbed his ear, irritated. "DUDE! That hurt!"

"That's what you get for leaving us when you should've been following," Becci argued.

"I had a good reason!"

"Yeah, let's hear your great reason for leaving that made us waste an hour. Because you can definitely think of a reason to justify that," Becci said sarcastically.

Kyle paused, and it looked like he wasn't going to answer. But then, he blurted out, "There's someone stalking us."

…

Awkward silence.

"WHAT?" Becci yelled. She grabbed Kyle's shoulders and shook him. "What. The. Hell? Why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

"Because I had to make sure! That's why I left you guys!"

"Wait…why would someone want to stalk us?" I wondered.

Becci stamped her foot in frustration, which was 1 part cute, 2 parts just plain annoying. "It can only be a monster."

If my life was a movie, there would be ominous music playing now.

"What does he look like?" I said.

"You remember that random hobo we saw at the train station?"

"The one who looks like a pedophile?"

"Yeah," he confirmed. "It's him."

FML

**AN: I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE FILLER CHAPTER! **

**Anyway, for those of you who are reading my other stories, you've probably already guessed that I'm not really updating (even though I'll try soon). Life is so hectic that I barely have time to **_**think**_**, much less **_**write**_**. Don't worry. I'm not going on hiatus without giving you an official notice. I just had the worst Geometry take-home test ever (okay, it's the first one we've had this year, but so what?). It took me about 8 hours to do, and I'm actually quite good at math. I have to present a speech on cloning in English class next week. And the president of the school board will be there. I get to almost cuss in front of her. Sweet. **

**Latin chanting makes any song sound more beast, huh?**

**Review?**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I have to build a bridge made out of toothpicks for my Geometry project. So I was looking up "model bridges" to get ideas for bridge designs. But bridge designs weren't all I found pictures of… I SAW THESE PICTURES OF FUCKING STRIPPERS AND I WAS LIKE WTFWTFWTF (not literally **_**fucking**_** strippers, I just cussed for extra emphasis). On the bright side, the only one I saw was at least wearing lingerie. **

**FML**

**(And yes, every chapter is supposed to end with "FML")**

Dear Man Diary,

Reasons why I need cookies, fast:

I'm being stalked by a pedophile-looking hobo.

I have no idea what the next step in this quest is even though I'm supposed to be the one leading it.

I think I left a lot of our money back at the hotel.

I think the cookies are calling out to me, begging me to eat them. I can practically hear their little whispers, going, "Eat me…"

I need something to throw at Kyle so he'll stop singing the Bed Intruder song.

If I have to hear him yelling, "Hide your kids, hide your wife," at the top of his lungs again, I'm going to take away his iPod and shove it down the drain (if I find one that is conveniently available), so he won't be able to listen to his crappy music anymore. I mean, in addition to classical music, he has wizard rock on there too! If that's not geeky, I don't know what is.

So what if I enjoy listening to wrock now and then too?

That's not the point.

* * *

"What the hell do you mean you've lost our money?" Becci screamed. She dumped the contents of my backpack out and looked through them, trying to find the thick wad of bills that I had shoved in there when we had first started on the quest. I gulped, hoping against all hope that they were in there after all and that I hadn't lost 600 bucks…

"Oooh, Nico's in trouble," Kyle said. He took out a granola bar and started munching on it, seeming oblivious to the tension in the air. And the fact that we now lacked the money we needed to get across the country.

"I haven't lost it…I've simply misplaced it," I said, I got down on my knees and started searching through my stuff to try to find the money. I thought I had put it into my backpack again, but since it wasn't in there…

"Nico, didn't you take it out of your backpack back in the hotel so that you could pretend that the money was all yours?" Kyle asked. He mimed me throwing the money up in the air and rolling around in it. Yeah, he actually freaking got on the ground and started rolling around. I gave Becci a look like _Should I kick him? _

She shook her head and kicked him herself. In the groin.

What a nice person.

I thought about what Kyle had said. Now that I thought about it, maybe I _had_ left it back at the hotel. Well, if I had, that would be pretty bad. As bad as that time when I went to the Underworld and forgot my Underworld-mosquito repellent and couldn't get back onto the surface for about two weeks. Yeah, that had been _bad_. Those inmosquio (think something like "inhuman", I guess) mosquitoes were HUGE. They freaking ate me alive, without actually eating me alive, because I'm still here right now writing in you. That made more sense in my head…

"Did you really lose our money?" Becci asked slowly, turning on me. Her eyes were like blazing gray orbs of grayness. Damn, I wish her eyes were red so that I could write better descriptive language. Anger is so much better depicted with _red_ eyes.

"Um…I dunno. Maybe?" I said hesitantly.

"You. Had. 600. Bucks."

"I can count, thank you," I said sarcastically.

"I. Trusted. You. With. That. Money." Gosh, if she was going to keep saying halting sentences, people are going to think she can't speak English.

"Why couldn't you have kept it yourself?" I countered.

"Because I had other things to carry!"

"Like what?"

"Like lollipops! I don't want us to suddenly run out!"

Everyone say it with me now… Epic fail.

"Everything should be fine. We have 100 dollars left," I told Becci soothingly.

"That isn't enough!" Becci snapped. "What about emergencies?"

I sighed. "Look on the bright side. At least we have _some_ money left."

"Ironic that it was _Kyle_ who didn't lose his share of the money."

"Haha," I muttered.

"So what now?" Kyle said, suddenly getting up. "Are we still going to Phoenix?"

Becci snorted. "With 100 bucks for all three of us? I think not."

"It's not my fault you trusted me with so much money," I mumbled. She had given Kyle and me all the money while she carried none of it.

"Oh, so are you saying that I shouldn't trust you anymore? Is that what you're saying?" She rubbed her temples tiredly. "Gosh, I need a lollipop," she said to herself. She proceeded to find a random spot on the wall to lean against and started muttering random things about why men are jerks.

All because I had lost 600 dollars. Why are girls so moody anyway? It's like if you anger them even a little bit, they'll start yelling at you and start hating the entire male race. And we're just left here, wondering what the heck we did wrong. Girls, give us a hint, please. We're not mind-readers. We're not Edward Cullen, nor do we want to be. Well, any guy who wants to be Edward Cullen is most likely gay so…

Wait…man diary, are _you_ a girl?

HOLY SHIT, IF YOU'RE A GIRL, CAN YOU PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME ON HOW GIRLS THINK?

I'm waiting…

Still waiting…

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING ME WAIT THIS LONG?

If you're a _man_ diary, can you be a girl? That name implies that you are in fact, a dude, but the "man" part is used to describe me (and the part of my brain that's laughing because I called myself a man should shut the Hades up) and not you.

Hm…this is a mystery. I shall solve it before the summer is over. 'Tis my new goal.

Kyle walked over to me. "Your girlfriend is really mad," he said.

I scowled. "She's not my girlfriend."

"But you wish she was."

"Shut up."

"Did you really lose the money? Because that'd be pretty bad."

"Oh really? I never knew."

"Well, she'll understand. We all make mistakes sometimes," Kyle said, trying to reassure me. Do I need to say that he pretty much failed at stuff like that?

I laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah, the words 'Becci' and 'understanding' go very well together."

"Why do you like her anyway?" Kyle asked, seeming to pull the question out of thin air.

I looked around frantically, trying to see if she was within earshot. Luckily, she was a good distance away, with a lollipop on her mouth. She had her eyes closed and looked like she was in her happy place. I wondered if her happy place had pixies flying around singing inspiring, happy songs like mine did.

Let's pretend I never wrote that, okay? Stupid pen won't erase…I have _got_ to get an erasable pen… I wonder if I can steal one from Wal-Mart, or would I have to take the whole pack? Because taking the whole pack makes me feel guilty, whereas stealing only one pen would definitely cut down on the guilt factor.

What Kyle had asked was actually a pretty damn good question. Why _did_ I like her? Besides the obvious reason (which was that she was hot) of course. There were a couple of good things about her. She was nice (sometimes), was a good leader (haha, barely), and…

"Yeah, I really don't know," I replied.

"That's pathetic. And she's a jerkface."

"Only to you…" I pointed out.

"She beat up Travis Stoll for trying to ask her a question."

Huh, well. "And at least she has some damn good lollipops."

"That can be taken sexually."

* * *

We were back on the job (if being on a quest counted as a job). And the best part was? We had a plan. And the plan was that we had no plan. Awesome plan, huh?

At least it was better than nothing!

Becci had been looking into modes of transportation all morning, but everything was too expensive for us to be able to afford a very long trip and still have money left over. I was happy to say that while Becci had done all of the work, Kyle and I had hung out in the back eating ice cream. That we had bought with the money that was supposed to be used for transportation and emergencies. Hey, we never claimed to be intelligent, did we?

We were currently sitting in the park, on a bench under a tree. I was swatting mosquitoes away from my face. Becci had bought herself a map and was poring over it, trying to figure out our route to Phoenix.

"Maybe we should go through the Underworld," I suggested. I felt sorry for her, since she was that one person in the group who volunteered to do everything even when it was stupid to do so. Of course, Kyle and I _could've_ helped, but honestly, if Becci couldn't figure it out, I doubt we would. That wasn't to say that she was smarter than us. I was just trying to say that if one person couldn't figure it out, then the rest of us wouldn't be able to figure it out either. But I'm not trying to say that she's not as smart as us, because she's probably _way_ smarter.

Wait. I'm confusing myself. What is it about this man diary that makes me ramble on endlessly when I really don't know what I'm trying to say? It's like whenever I write in here, I'm being given a whole lot of crack.

I'm not on crack, even if I totally seem to be.

Becci glared at me. "_You_ may be comfortable in the Underworld, Death Boy, but the rest of us aren't."

"But it's a pretty fast way to travel, and it's not like we have any other way to get to Phoenix," I snapped. This was just getting annoying.

"Do you have any idea of _how_ we're going to get from one city to the other using the Underworld? It isn't like the Labyrinth, you know."

"I _know_ we don't know, but we can _try_, better than doing nothing here."

"And get eaten by dead people in the meantime? I don't _think_ so."

"Dead people can't eat you," I scoffed.

She glared at me, and I glared right back. Maybe it was because the Underworld was where I felt comfortable, but she was really freaking pissing me off.

"Psst, your ice cream is melting," Kyle said suddenly, pointing to my ice cream.

"What?" Randomness much?

"Shhh, I'm trying to pretend that we're having a normal conversation because that pedophile guy is here," Kyle said loudly, I hope on accident. "Oh, do you think he can hear me?" he asked just as loudly.

I looked around frantically, and sure enough, the hobo with red hair was standing next to a tree that was about 10 feet away from us. And, of course, we could _not_ have made the fact that we were staring at him any more obvious.

"Oh, _no¸ _of course, he couldn't hear you," Becci whispered sarcastically.

"Good, because I was really thinking that he…" At the look in Becci's eyes, he paused. "You were being sarcastic, weren't you?"

She nodded slowly.

"Oh."

"I say we give hobo guy a name. That way we don't just call him hobo guy," I said.

"Bob?" Kyle recommended.

"That name is overused. Carl is better."

"Why _Carl? _Why not Christine?"

"It's a dude! I doubt his name is Christine."

"Then why don't we name him Jagdish?"

"JAGDISH?"

"Boys, you may want to stop fighting now. He's coming this way," Becci warned. We both turned to look at Carl (since Kyle never won the argument, I'm just going to assume I won). He was only a few feet away from us now and looked like he was about to say something, which would break the awkward silence a bit, I guess. It was better than having him stand there staring at us creepily.

He cleared his throat. Then, just when we thought he was about to talk, he cleared his throat again. And again. And...

"Okay, we get it. Do you wanna say something or not?" Becci demanded impatiently.

"I couldn't help overhearing your conversation," he said in a low voice. I backed away a few steps because that sounded CREEPY. HIS BAD BREATH DIDN'T HELP EITHER. "And I think I know a way to get you to your destination."

All right, people. You can start playing the scary music now.

"…How?" Becci asked. She scrunched up her nose in response to the smell.

"Just trust me, kids."

WTFWTFWTF? Why should be trust a creepy pedophile guy who we'd only started speaking to a few seconds ago? Of course, we had no proof that he was really a pedophile, but his outfit suggested he was, and sometimes, the appearance of something is enough. The guy seemed nice-ish, but aren't all creepers nice at first? He was trying to get us to trust him just so that he could kill us in our sleep later, I just knew it.

Or maybe I was just overly paranoid?

Nah.

"We don't even know you," Becci said blatantly.

Carl nodded solemnly. "Perhaps this will change your mind."

He opened his hand, so that his palm was facing up. It was like he expected us to give him something.

"Um, we don't have any more money left, so don't expect us to give you any," I said, confused.

"I can give you a lollipop, though!" Kyle offered.

"And where are you going to get a lollipop?" I asked.

"Oh, I was planning to steal one from Becci," he explained.

"HEY!" Becci yelled. She kicked Kyle in his left shin. Hard. His face screwed up in pain, and he bent down, clutching his leg.

"What the hell was that for?" he screeched, trying to slap Becci with his free hand. But she jumped out of the way, laughing.

"Don't threaten to steal my lollipops," she said coldly. Then she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Carl asked exasperatedly.

"Um, yeah, sure?"

Suddenly, a small flame alighted in the center of his palm. Since he didn't start screaming, I assumed that it wasn't affecting him at all. My mouth dropped open in shock.

This random hobo had magical powers?

Next thing you know, he'll turn out to not _really_ be a pedo. Like that'll ever happen.

"See, I can take you to the destination you're trying to get to," Carl said.

"You work for the phoenix?" Becci asked briskly.

"You could say that," he said with a mysterious (*cough* creepy *cough*) smile.

"Were you sent to bring us to Phoenix? Because that'd be _so cool_," Kyle said. "Do you have your own Mythomagic card?

Carl held his hands up in a _slow down_ gesture. "I'm nobody. I'm just the help. I don't get my own card."

"So the reason that you were stalking us is because you were sent to do that? Not because you're a random creeper?" said Kyle.

That was when I decided to interrupt. "How the Hades do you know he's not a monster?"

"Try to think, son of Hades. Does trusting me feel right—in your heart?"

Actually, all I felt was really really hungry, but I didn't have alarms going off in my head either.

"I think we should go with him," Becci said unexpectedly. I thought she had trust issues?

I walked a few feet away and took Becci and Kyle with me so we could deliberate. I was frustrated since both of them were so desperate that they'd go with Carl. "Are you out of your mind, Becci?" I whispered so he couldn't hear.

"So far, he's our best chance of getting _anywhere_. Face it, we have no idea what to do."

"I don't want to trust him…" I protested.

"But do you _not_ want to trust him?" she replied.

She had me there.

"But…"

"Shut up, Nico. We can always kill him in his sleep if we have to, but right now, we need his help," Becci said decisively.

She began walking back to Carl so that she could tell him we'd go with him, but I grabbed her wrist. "I think you've forgotten that I'm supposed to be in charge here?"

"You've done _nothing_. Zero, zilch, nada. Both Kyle and I think we should go with him. Right, Kyle?" she looked at him pointedly, daring him to shake his head.

He nodded. Oh boy, he picked a _bad_ time to agree with Becci.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine, but if he ends up killing us, I'm blaming you."

But there was one thing that would make me feel better… "Hey, dude, can I call you Carl?" I called out to the hobo.

He looked taken aback at first, which was my intention. "Fine?" It sounded more like a question than a statement.

Well, that was _better_. And I still think he's a creeper.

* * *

He took us to a residential area of town. No idea why.

Suddenly, a wall of mist from a garden sprinkler rose in front of me. I almost ran into it, and briefly wondered if anything bad would happen if I did so. Would I be attacked by the water spirits of doom? Have you realized that if you attach "of doom" to a phrase, it totally makes it sounds more ominous?

The pink flowers OF DOOM. The rainbows OF DOOM. The unicorns OF DOOM. The gaping crevasse OF DOOM.

Huh. The last one actually sounded slightly scary. Win.

Just as I was about to walk right through the mist, Kyle yelled, "Nico, you have an Iris message!"

Is it just me, or did that sound suspiciously like that automated voice recording in phones that tells you how many messages you have? "You have one message." Gosh, I hate that voice. It sounds like the voice a stalker would have. I always question how it knows how many messages I have. Once, I engaged in a one hour argument with a phone because I thought it was stalking me. I totally won that argument, by the way. The phone didn't even reply. I like to think that it was intimidated by my awesomeness and was so afraid of losing that it didn't even want to try.

A face appeared in the mist, and I guessed that was what caused Kyle to yell out. It was Annabeth, and she looked frazzled. Her hair looked messy and her clothes looked like she had slept in them.

"Hiya!" I said brightly, hoping that if I acted cheerful, what she had to tell me would be good news. Heh, my logic didn't really work out, but it was worth a shot. Annabeth probably wouldn't contact me unless she had news that was in dire need of my knowledge, and in my experience, dire news is usually bad. Unless, I, like, won the lottery.

All my strange greeting got from Annabeth was a raised eyebrow. "Okay, Nico, hand over the drugs. They're going in the garbage. Now."

I gasped dramatically and clutched a hand to my heart. "How dare you threaten my drugs? They're MINEMINEMINE," I joked.

Annabeth glanced around at the people behind me and widened her eyes when she saw Carl. "I trust that you're making wise decisions?" she asked.

"Um…yeah…about that…"

She held up a hand to stop me. "I don't want to hear about all your epic fails. I just hope that when this quest is over, the good things that happened will outweigh the bad."

"Are you implying that I am an epic fail, young lady?" Carl said, insulted. He shook his finger at Annabeth, and the motion caused the seams on his coat to fall apart even more. _Any_ kind of motion would, really. I was surprised that they still held the cloth together—even barely. He didn't seem surprised that we were talking to someone using mist, but he had made fire shoot out of his hand, so I guess he was used to strange things, seeing as he was a walking freak show himself. Now that I think about it, everyone I know is at least a little bit weird. Psh, normal people are boring. Normal is overrated. Down with normal!

Wow, this just suddenly turned into an anti-normal rant. Is that awesome, or what?

"Sir, I don't mean to sound rude, but who are you?" Annabeth said. I thought the "sir" was laying it on a bit too thick, but if she wanted to sound like an idiot, that was her problem.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, little girl." Then he winked at Annabeth.

Freaking _winked_ at her.

If that didn't scream "pedophile" even more than his outfit, I didn't know what did. Annabeth coughed awkwardly. "Can I talk to Nico for a moment?"

"Sure," Kyle said. He motioned for Annabeth to start talking.

She rolled her eyes. "_Alone_. Then he can decide to tell you if he wants to."

"B—but, what you can say to him can be said to us, right?"

"That's for him to decide, not me."

I turned to Annabeth. "Just say it. I'll end up telling them anyway."

"Samantha's missing."

Rewind.

"What the freaking snickers bar from Tartarus?" I asked Annabeth.

"We checked her cabin, and she isn't there. She took some of her clothes too, which makes us think she left and wasn't taken," Annabeth explained. She looked frantic.

"Why are you so worried? Maybe she just went to go shopping or something," I said offhandedly.

"We didn't actually tell you as soon as it happened. She's been missing for a few days."

"…A few days?"

"Yeah, we realized a few hours after you left for your quest, actually."

Why did I have the feeling this wasn't a coincidence?

I really hoped she had gone on her shopping trip and hadn't gone after us.

Because that would _not_ be good.

* * *

Dang it, Kyle started to sing the Bed Intruder song again. This freaking SUCKS. Okay, so what if it's amazingly catchy? Oh, and if you're hiding your kids, your wife, AND your husband, which one are you? The family leprechaun-unicorn hybrid (what would that look like, anyway?) that likes eating perennials in the garden and frolicking with squirrels wearing Converse?

It's sad that I'm even contemplating this.

FML

**AN: I know this is pretty rushed, but it's not filler. Hopefully, you guys like it. Ugh, I CANNOT stop listening to Your Favorite Franchise. The only song I totally ABSOLUTELY love by them is Since She Says, but their other songs are really good too. One of the things I like about them is that all their songs sound different. The first song I heard by them was All Out of Excuses, and then I listened to Since She Says. They don't sound like they're from the same band, but they DO at the same time! For those of you who have no idea what wrock (wizard rock) is, it's a genre of music that is based on Harry Potter. Ministry of Magic has got to be my favorite wrock band. Listen to them, I command you!**

**Guess what? I lost my iPod. :(**

**Review?**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Well, I think my funniness failed in this chapter. Quite sorry. Again. **

Dear Man Diary,

Imagine this. You're walking through a grove of trees with little pixies flying around. You frolic with them, trying to catch up. They blow cute fairy dust at you and you fervently hope that you don't start sparkling. Then you realize that the fairy dust isn't sticking to your clothes, and you sigh in relief. You wonder why pixies would have fairy dust. And what's the difference between pixies and fairies anyway? You had never figured it out. They both had…little wings and crap, right?

*cough* Anyway. *cough*

So you're all happy and content, and that emo corner that you sometimes use doesn't even exist in that one moment. Then this giant, slimy worm thing pops out of nowhere and eats you.

Then you die.

Which is already implied by "eat you", but I just wanted to confirm that.

Anyway, so this worm thing eats you, and you feel really slimy, because of course, these things have to have an excess of saliva in their salivary glands (what gross thingamabob wouldn't?) and you feel like you're about to throw up, even if you're dead. Some things are so gross that you have to respond to them, no matter what your current condition is. Even if you're not capable of doing that certain thing. It's not fair that you can't throw up in death.

That's how I felt this morning.

Maybe that was a bit dramatic, and I could have just said, "I have a headache that hurts like a fucker."

Do fuckers hurt?

* * *

"Do you have Tylenol?" I asked everyone groggily. My eyes were still halfway shut, and I wasn't fully awake. We were in a subway tunnel (cliché, right?) since our dear fellow quester Becci had said that we shouldn't waste any of our money on "something so mundane like a hotel". Yeah, getting a good night's sleep is definitely mundane. When I wake up with a splitting headache and a worse temper than a PMS'ing girl, let's see if she'll still call it mundane.

"Everyone? We need to wake up." I slumped down and almost fell completely asleep again, which only punctuated the hypocrisy of that one statement.

"Five more minutes, mommy," Kyle pleaded. I couldn't see his face since my eyes were still closed, but I bet that he was still asleep and was sucking on his thumb, as was his habit. He was probably holding his pink blankie too, or maybe he was sucking on _that _instead of his thumb. I felt sorry for the blankie, I really did.

"I'm not your mommy," I grumbled.

"Five more minutes, daddy," Kyle whispered sleepily. He let out a huge yawn and swung at me with the blankie, catching me in the face. I swiped away at the blankie irritably and kicked in Kyle's general direction. I hit something with a satisfying _thump_ and I smiled in my sleep. What did this say about me?

"If I'm your daddy, who's your mommy?" I asked.

"Megan Fox," Kyle answered without hesitating. "Because she's hot and if she was my mom, I'd be hot too."

Right. Nice logic there.

Becci leaned over and gave me a halfhearted slap on the cheek. "Shut up," she whispered groggily. "Tryin' to sleep." She then proceeded to roll over and start snoring again. Carl didn't even bother to respond.

Well, I sure wasn't going to sleep while she was snoring loudly, so I got up to get a head start to the day. It basically meant scoping out Internet cafes where I could manipulate the Mist to make someone leave their laptop so I could get in a few minutes of Mythomagic playing. I decided to walk into town, which turned out to be a bad idea, because see, the thing is, I hadn't changed my clothes in days. I lacked deodorant. All of Becci's combs that I was planning to use had mysteriously disappeared. The black clothing probably didn't help, either.

In other words, I looked like shit.

As I walked down the sidewalk, most people tried to avoid me, which was nice, I guess, since I didn't want some random little girl who had just lost her mommy to come up to me and hug me, thinking that I was her mother. I found a bookstore with free WiFi that I could go into, but at the last minute, I walked past it. I just needed some time to think on my own.

I still can't believe that I passed up a free chance to play Mythomagic even now, as I'm writing this. This was a pretty pointless endeavor. All I was doing was wasting time. But I hadn't really had a chance to just waste time for a while. Wasting time is definitely a worthwhile pastime.

I made my way to a mall, where the sidewalk was lined in gravel. I kicked the small stones for no apparent reason, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the entrance into the mall's food court.

Why not?

Malls weren't exactly my kind of place, but it was a _food court_, which made up for it. And plus, I needed a cookie right then and there. Because cookies were generally awesome items of foodage.

I proceeded to buy a large cookie from the food court and sat down at one of the tables. I had taken some money from our stash o' bills before I left, so I almost felt guilty about that. But only almost. It was kind of pathetic. While everyone else was with someone else, I was just sitting there, all alone, eating a cookie.

I felt so loved.

After a few days of traveling with two, now three, other people, who could blame me for needing some alone time? I had things to do on my own too.

But ew, not like that.

Kyle and I had a strange friendship thing going on, but Becci...

I just didn't know what to make of her. One minute, she was super nice and the next, she...wasn't. Her bipolar tendencies tended to get pretty...bipolar.

As I mused over this while eating my cookie, I heard a female voice ask, "Oh, LOL, did you hear that there's a huge sale at Hot Topic?"

"OMG, I'm soo getting Black Veil Brides t-shirt! Andy Sixx is soo sexy!" another equally high-pitched voice answered.

And they proceeded to squee. Loudly.

I hate fangirls.

I hurriedly tried to disappear so that I wouldn't get trampled by any over-fangirliness. And who the hell said "LOL" in real life anyway? It's like...they were stuck in a world where everyone was obsessed with the Internet and they couldn't help but talk like that IRL too.

Am I being a hypocrite?

Probably.

I was just eating, trying to figure out my thoughts, when they were once interrupted again by those annoying girls. When one of them saw me, she gasped and pointed at me. She nudged her friend with a conspiratorial look on her face. "Look at that guy. He's hawt." I turned around to see two girls wearing outfits that seemed to be made up entirely of clothes raided from Hot Topic. This type of fangirl was almost more annoying that Justin Bieber fangirls.

Almost.

And yeah, man diary, I purposely misspelled the word "hot" to put emphasis on the absurdity of this situation. There I was, eating a cookie innocently, when these two random girls call me hot. It was kinda cool, actually. It wasn't every day when you meet random girls declaring their appreciation for your looks.

They dropped down into the seats across from me. One was had obviously dyed black hair, since I could see her blonde roots. The other one seemed to have multicolored hair. I immediately learned that neon green and bright orange were not two colors that went very well together. Someone needed to tell these girls that dyeing their hair too much could cause it to fall out.

And they wouldn't want to be bald, right?

Shit, now I sounded like someone's mother. But the last time I checked, I didn't have the necessary organs to be someone's mom, so I probably didn't have too much to worry about.

"Hi," the black-haired one said sultrily. I backed my chair away automatically.

"Uh, hi," I said uncertainly. One of the girls glanced at my cookie and snatched it up. She stuffed the unbitten part into her mouth.

"Wait, you don't mind if I eat some of this, right?" she said, still chewing. Well, it wasn't as if I actually had a choice in the matter. I cursed inwardly, but placed a fake smile on my face, which probably only made me look like I needed to use the bathroom badly.

"No, I don't mind!"

The bright-haired girl, now to be known as Girl One, looked at me suspiciously. "Look, we haven't known you for very long..." she began. Understatement of the century, right there. "But your voice sounds weird. Do you have a cold or something?"

"Ooh, I have cough drops!" her friend (Girl Two) chimed in.

"What flavor?" Girl One friend asked.

"Cherry." Girl Two had a smug smile on her face.

Girl One gasped. "You know I love cherry cough drops! Gimme!"

Girl Two huffed. "You don't even have a cold."

"So?"

"No, you're not getting these." She rolled her eyes and flipped her black hair. "Besides, I'm saving these for the hot guy." She turned to me. "Hey, hot guy, you want a cough drop?"

"No?" I squeaked out. This was just getting freaky.

"Are you _sure_?" she pressed on.

"Yeah, pretty sure," I said.

Her friend pouted. "B—but really?"

"Really." I looked at the nonexistent watch on my wrist. "Oh, look! I have to go!"

"You don't have a watch," Girl One pointed out.

"It's...um...invisible!"

Both girls still looked skeptical.

"You can buy them at Hot Topic. I can't believe you didn't know that."

They brightened immediately. Now we were back to familiar territory.

"Let's buy some next time!"

"Yes, let's!"

They turned to me again. "You have such nice hair. Has anyone told you that? It's so emo," said Girl Two.

All right, that was it, I'm getting a haircut. One more comment about my supposed "emo hair" and I was going to stab someone with a fork then pour salt into the wound. Girl One reached over, as if getting ready to stroke my hair, but I stood up quickly again, almost knocking my chair over.

"I can hear my mother calling me! Uh...bye!" I ran off immediately.

"OMG, that's so cute! He's a momma's boy!" I heard one of them say after me. They both squealed. Simultaneously. How do girls _do _that? It was like they could communicate nonverbally and tell each other the perfect time to squeal their heads off about something that they really didn't need to squeal over. I've heard them do that over puppies before. There are millions of puppies in the world. Just because you see a picture of one making an adorable expression doesn't mean you need to stare at it and squeal for 10 minutes. It really hurts a guy's ego when girls would rather squeal over puppies than look at them.

I needed to write a Girl's Guide to Winning a Guy's Heart. Seriously.

And of course, who do I run to outside the doors of the mall but Becci?

In my defense, she was standing right in front of the doors. I wasn't really looking at where I was going, so a collision was almost inevitable. In any case, I almost knocked her over.

"What the hell? Watch where you're going!" she cried out. When she saw it was me, she rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's you. I should have known."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Only you'd be running away from a mall food court looking like you were running away from a ghost or something."

"I know a lot of people who would do that," I said indignantly.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows. "Kyle, I found him!" she called out behind her.

Kyle seemed to appear out of nowhere and bounded up to me cheerfully. "I thought you'd died!"

I decided to ignore his comment because, well, it was probably better to ignore any comments that sounded as strange as that. "Come on, let's go back and get Carl and get out of here," I said, walking away from the mall.

I did mention that Becci and Kyle do not get along, man diary, right?

Well, they started arguing after about one minute of blessed silence.

I don't even remember what they were arguing about, just that it was incredibly stupid. It could have been an argument about Fall Out Boy vs. All Time Low, for all I remember. (And for the record, both of them rip off Blink-182)

All I remember was that the next thing I knew, Becci and Kyle were left behind me and I was walking past a dark alley.

Now, the words "dark" and "alley" would sound pretty ominous even if they were used individually, but when used together, they created a huge ball of ominousness that would eventually explode until people were drenched with ominosity.

I must be high or something. Can you get high without doing drugs?

The sounds of Becci and Kyle still arguing in the background were enough to drive me nuts, so I happened to glance to my left.

And then I saw her.

Samantha.

(I used one-line paragraphs for extra suspense! I feel like a poet or something.)

Her blonde hair was matted and fell around her face in limp strands. She looked tired, as indicated by the large circles under her eyes. Her pink tennis shoes were covered in mud and she looked like she'd rather be anyplace but here.

It was already kind of obvious, though, from the group of people surrounding her.

A group of rebellious teenagers who seemed older than me, at least by a few years. The one in front had a wicked grin on his face and a scar running from his right eye to his left. They were saying something to her, but from my distance away from them, I couldn't make out their words. From their body language and idiotic smiles, I could tell that what they were saying weren't exactly good things.

Samantha hadn't seen me yet, and I'd like to keep it that way. I didn't know whether to get involved to help someone I didn't even like. I hid behind a dumpster—because of course, every back alleyway had to have a surplus of dumpsters, it was a rule.

Becci and Kyle finally caught up to me.

"What's—" Kyle began to ask. I silenced him with a glare and gestured at the scene in front of me. "Oohhh, so..." Becci slapped a hand over his mouth and I thanked her silently. Becci and Kyle crawled into the space next to me.

"So what's going on?" Becci whispered.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out."

Becci gave one glance at the guys circling Samantha and snorted. "Looks like the little princess got captured by slightly scarier princesses."

Kyle looked confused. "But I don't see any princesses. Only Samantha and..." Realization dawned on his face. "Ooh, you're implying that those guys are princesses."

Becci nodded slowly, getting more and more impatient by the minute.

"Is being called a princess a good thing or a bad thing? Because princesses are generally really pretty and have a lot of money," Kyle said matter-of-factly.

Becci and I just looked at him.

And looked at him some more.

"I'm guessing it's a bad thing in this situation?" Kyle asked.

"You think?" Becci answered sarcastically.

We sat there, looking at the scene in front of us, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. We saw them grabbing Samantha and a piece of rope. They started with tying her hands behind her back. That didn't look comfortable. Then they put duct tape (not duck tape!) over her mouth. She looked too shocked to try anything to stop them.

I was trying to decide what to do when, suddenly, I heard breathing behind me. I turned around, but not quickly enough. Before I knew it, my hands were forced behind my back and I was unable to move. I looked around to see that Becci and Kyle were in similar positions—caught by these really buff guys who looked like they were on steroids. I began to struggle at first, and I knew that with enough force, I could probably break out of the guy's grip. But I decided to stop struggling when I realized that I could find more information if I let them take them to their leader.

And now I sounded like an alien trying to take over Earth. Great.

The leader of the group came up to me and looked at Becci, Kyle, and me like he was trying to see if we were a threat. He looked like the stereotypical gang leader, with a black motorcycle jacket and really bad teeth.

"You ignoramuses encroached on our personal property," he hissed, hitting the baseball bat against his hand. He barred his teeth, displaying the spinach that was caught in between his front two teeth. I winced. His breath most certainly did not smell like flowers. Samantha looked like a little rag doll caught up in the little circle of gang members with her hands tied behind her back and tape placed across her mouth.

"Uh, Basher? What's an igoramas?" the lackey on the left said, scratching his head with his dirty hand. His fingernails were worse than mine after a dip in one of the showers in the Underworld, and I thought those were bad.

"It's 'ignoramus', you useless sycophant." The leader glared daggers at him, and I wondered how the hell he had learned these words anyway. Didn't gang leaders usually talk in incorrect English and such? Like: WASSUP, HOMEDAWG, IMMA BEAT YOU UP FO SHIZZLE.

Maybe he had stolen a Merriam-Webster dictionary.

"What's a sycophant?" the lackey on the right asked. He had a perpetually nervous expression on his face and was biting his fingernails compulsively, getting spit all over them.

The leader, Basher (what is up with that name?), sighed in wonderment at the stupidity of his followers. "A servile or obsequious person who flatters somebody powerful for personal gain," he explained.

The lackey on the right—who I had begun to call Idiot Number One—nodded smartly. "So it's basically a unicorn?" he guessed.

"Basher's" eye twitched in anger. "Yes, it's basically a unicorn," he conceded through gritted teeth.

"Oh, that's good! I like unicorns!" the guy nodded emphatically and I almost felt sorry for the leader. Samantha looked like she was about to join in and declare her love for unicorns too, when I shot her a look that told her to keep quiet.

Becci coughed awkwardly. "Um, hello? We're still here."

Yeah, way to remind them about the group of kids they had just caught.

Basher nodded. "Oh, that's right." He snapped his fingers in this totally badass move and motioned for his two followers to surround us. I was sizing them up—just about decided that we could take them—when more appeared. There were at least ten of them. They were all at least six feet tall, packed with muscles. What made them seem less menacing were the tattoos that covered their arms. You'd think that would make them scarier, but tattoos in the shapes of hearts and flowers kind of defeated the purpose of "tattoos".

"Oh," Becci said eloquently.

Basher rubbed his hands together conspiratorially. "How do you want to get beaten up today?"

"Uh...very softly?" Kyle said nervously. He started twitching, which probably didn't help us emanate the message that we were going to kick their asses.

Mustering all my strength, I wrenched away from the guy holding my arms behind my back. I punched Basher in the stomach, hoping to catch him off guard.

I totally pwned him and proceeded to kill off everyone else. Then, I managed to win the hearts of millions of girls everywhere and lived happily ever after.

That happened.

No, really, it did.

Kyle seems to be reading over my shoulder now (even though I told him that I would punch him if he did), and he's laughing. It's not fair. This is my diary. Why can't I live in my own convoluted reality in here?

Well, I _did_ manage to punch the leader in the stomach.

But it turned out his stomach muscles were harder than I had anticipated.

So while I was nursing my aching fist, Becci had already kicked him in the crotch.

Which was really sad—the fact that she could reduce him to whimpering on the ground, and I couldn't, I mean.

All of our captors had let us go in shock, but Samantha was still tied up far away from where we could get to her.

"Will we have to fight now?" Kyle asked nervously. He started to attempt to run away, but some of the gang members blocked his way out of the alley. He started twitching even more, if it was possible.

"Kill them," the leader commanded. Maybe he would have sounded more menacing if he wasn't on the ground clutching his...area in pain. But since he was, all I could do was laugh and laugh some more. Not my best idea. I felt a punch hit the back of my head and I whirled around, pulling my sword out of its sheath. Too late, I realized that celestial bronze would have no effect on mortals. I cursed as a punch hit my stomach. Stars danced in front of my eyes.

Now was probably a good time to run away.

The guy attempted another punch to the side of my head, but this one, I was able to dodge. He was playing offense and all I could do was defend myself. Sooner or later I would get tired and most likely die.

The prospect of having to spend eternity with my father spurred me to redouble my efforts and try harder.

I feinted a kick to his shin, and while he was preoccupied with getting out of the way, I rammed my whole body into his with all my strength.

Well, that sounded wrong.

He was knocked off his feet and onto the ground. He tried to get up again, but I kicked him in the side of the head before he could do so. I didn't stop to see if there were any long-term effects to his body. I ran on, trying to get to Samantha.

We were losing badly.

Kyle was just running around like a chicken whose head had been chopped off and even Becci couldn't fight 10 guys at once. This was bad. Really really really really bad.

If I was on Microsoft Word, there'd be so many red squiggly lines in that last sentence. I hate those. But since I'm writing in a diary and I'm not on MS Word, I guess I have nothing to worry about. I'm still pretty paranoid though. What if red squiggly lines suddenly appeared out of nowhere?

Diary, are you computerized?

After about an eternity of dodging, I finally managed to get to Samantha. She was staring at the fighting with an awed look in her face, as if she had never seen something like it before. If she was going to start telling me about how pretty the gang members' tattoos were, I was going to slap her, no joke.

I untied her hands and ripped the tape from her mouth. She winced and rubbed her mouth experimentally. "That hurt," she whined.

Gee. Not even a thank you.

I didn't bother to comment. "Do you happen to have anything magical that would help us get out of here?"

She widened her eyes, and just when I thought she would have a helpful answer, she said, "Like a unicorn?"

What the _Hades?_ Why is everyone so freaking obsessed with unicorns? They're just a prettier version of rhinoceroses.

"No, not a unicorn," I said through gritted teeth.

She thought for a moment. "Would perfume help?"

I was itching to get back into the fight. "Not unless you want to make everyone here smell like pretty little flowers."

"What if it's made to knock someone out?"

"Yeah, that may help a little," I said sarcastically.

She brightened considerably. "Really? It can help?" She handed me a bottle of expensive-looking perfume that she had just pulled out of her skirt pocket.

I looked at it suspiciously. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Uh, like, pretty sure?" Suddenly, she backed away from me. "Look out behind you!" she yelled suddenly. I whirled around and sprayed perfume into one of the gang member's faces instinctively. These guys all looked the same to me, so I didn't even bother to give them idiotic fake names.

He dropped to the ground like a rock.

I looked at the innocent-looking bottle in my hand in reverence. If something this cool could happen, what else was next? Twilight vampires actually being scary?

"This may have helped when they were surrounding you, you know," I pointed out.

"B—but those people were scary!" she protested. "I didn't know what to do."

I didn't wait around to reply and say that having them unconscious would make them considerably less scary. Instead, I just ran off, spraying perfume everywhere, something I never thought I'd do.

The next few minutes were a blur to me. As soon as I saw someone vaguely dangerous-looking, I sprayed his face with the perfume. I even heard Kyle off in the distance yelling, "Frick, Nico! Do you have attack points too?"

In the end, I was panting. I collapsed to the ground and looked around. All the gang members were sleeping like little babies. My adrenaline rush was over, unfortunately, and I began to feel the effects of all that running around.

I looked for my friends, waiting for congratulations that would probably never come.

I looked around.

And again to make sure.

A bad feeling was starting to build up in my stomach.

Becci was gone.

She had disappeared into thin air during the fight.

Perplexed, I called out her name. I didn't really believe that she had just disappeared like that, and I really didn't comprehend it. It was like a dream. Next thing you know, fluffy little bunnies would appear out of thin air, grow fangs, and kill us all. Anything could happen in this dream.

"Yes, the witch is dead!" Kyle cheered when he realized who wasn't standing alongside us. I glared at him, and he shrugged. "You know it's true. Deep down on your heart." He began humming a Lady Gaga song.

"Did you see her die or something?"

Kyle shook his head. "I haven't seen her for a few minutes."

I didn't know how I really felt about her disappearing weirdly and suddenly like that. I liked her, definitely, but even I knew that it was probably just because she was hot. Fuck you, hormones. We had grown into almost friends, though. And maybe one day, I could have grown to like her personality too. I was panicking a little. She was really the only person on this quest who seemed at least slightly sane.

I walked around the alley, trying to look for her.

No sign.

"Oh, she's gone," Samantha said, walking up to me. She didn't seem too broken up about it either.

"You don't like her?" I asked.

She pursed her lips. "Of course not."

I sighed. "Well, are you going to tell me how the Hades you ended up finding a gang that caught you?"

Samantha pouted. "What? No hello?"

"That _was_ my idea of a hello."

"Well, OMG, your idea of a greeting sucks." She started walking away, and I grabbed her arm to hold her back. I raised my eyebrows, which I hoped made me look badass and all-knowing.

"Fine. What do you want to know?" she asked exasperatedly. She grabbed her purse, which seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and took her cosmetics case out of it. I rolled my eyes again and slapped it out of her hand. She pouted. "You're mean, has anyone else ever told you that you're mean?"

"No, I think that's just you."

She sighed. "Fine. You know those phones that have a GPS tracking systems in them?"

"Yeah..." I said suspiciously. A thought began to dawn on me. "You didn't..."

But she cut me off. "Yeah, I replaced your phone with a phone that has a GPS tracking system in it! I made sure it looks like your real cell phone too!" She looked proud of herself, which was pathetic and almost endearing at the same time.

I'm surprised that she even knows what a GPS tracking system is. I wasn't surprised that her plan had worked. I never checked the smaller pockets of my backpack because I had a "screw it, everything's just going to be a jumbled mess, I ain't organizing this" policy when packing.

"I don't have a cell phone," I said.

She looked surprised. "But I looked in your backpack and I saw one..."

I buried my face in my hands. "That was probably the fake cell phone that Kyle put in there because he's an idiot. How do you mistake that for a real cell phone?"

"In her defense, I think the company that made that cell phone was _very _convincing," Kyle piped in from next to me. I hadn't even noticed that he was standing there.

"It was a Barbie fake cell phone!"

"It was? I didn't notice."

FML

**AN: I'm amused at the fact that I insulted All Time Low in this chapter when, in actuality, I like them.**

**Review?**


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